Smeshque, while that is a consoling thought I have found it cuts very little ice with my landlord or my utilities providers when their bills fall due.
Deb, if you receive any kind of benefits, make sure the agencies who assess you are aware of your and your mother's circumstances. It may be that one or both of you is entitled to more financial support than you are currently getting.
As far as your brothers are concerned, of course I don't know if they are in a position to help you or not. But again do make sure they are aware of what the situation is: keep records of expenses, try to be specific about what kind of help they could offer that would make a difference.
If you don't ask, you don't get! - and there is *nothing* wrong with asking nicely.
Thank you all for your wisdom. I am disabled myself, so no I don't work. Mother doesn't have much money herself either. We are all on a budget. She could never afford to hire anyone. That is why she is living with me. Plus the fact that I want her near me. I do treasure this time so. I just didn't know if I should or could count on some financial assistance from my mother and brothers for caring for her. I have read so many different articles on how I should be getting some sort of compensation. But from what you're saying, that is not the case, so I'll let it go. Thank you again everyone.
Deb, the vast majority of grown children taken care of a parent do not get paid... unless that parent can afford to pay you a salary..... if yes, then you would need to draw up an employment agreement which Mom's signs, as this document can become very important if for some reason your Mom needs to use Medicaid [which is different from Medicare].
If you are planning on leaving a full time job that has benefits, this will cost you much more than just your salary. There is the net $$$ worth of company offered health insurance.... company offered life insurance... paid sick days... paid vacation days.... payroll deductions for Social Security and Medicare.... matching 401(k) benefit.... profit share... etc. And the biggest thing I found, being around people of my own generation.
If Mom can pay you a salary, then she could pay for a caregiver to come in to help her, thus allowing you to continue working. I have read here on the forums where grown children had lost their life savings being a caregiver.
Deb, I see from your profile that your mother has dementia.
Here is your difficulty. The question of whether you should be compensated for providing care is not for you or your brothers to answer; it is, or was, your mother's decision.
Is your mother still able to understand the issue? Does any of you children have power of attorney?
I have a lot of questions. Do you currently work and will you have to give up your job to take care of mom? What is mom's financial situation? Do you live together? I took FMLA from my job when my mother was dying of cancer. While she could still make decisions, she, my brother and myself decided she would pay me what I was making at my job to be her full time caretaker. It was a blessed time to get to be her that last year.
Deb, if you receive any kind of benefits, make sure the agencies who assess you are aware of your and your mother's circumstances. It may be that one or both of you is entitled to more financial support than you are currently getting.
As far as your brothers are concerned, of course I don't know if they are in a position to help you or not. But again do make sure they are aware of what the situation is: keep records of expenses, try to be specific about what kind of help they could offer that would make a difference.
If you don't ask, you don't get! - and there is *nothing* wrong with asking nicely.
I am disabled myself, so no I don't work. Mother doesn't have much money herself either. We are all on a budget. She could never afford to hire anyone. That is why she is living with me. Plus the fact that I want her near me. I do treasure this time so. I just didn't know if I should or could count on some financial assistance from my mother and brothers for caring for her. I have read so many different articles on how I should be getting some sort of compensation. But from what you're saying, that is not the case, so I'll let it go. Thank you again everyone.
If you are planning on leaving a full time job that has benefits, this will cost you much more than just your salary. There is the net $$$ worth of company offered health insurance.... company offered life insurance... paid sick days... paid vacation days.... payroll deductions for Social Security and Medicare.... matching 401(k) benefit.... profit share... etc. And the biggest thing I found, being around people of my own generation.
If Mom can pay you a salary, then she could pay for a caregiver to come in to help her, thus allowing you to continue working. I have read here on the forums where grown children had lost their life savings being a caregiver.
Here is your difficulty. The question of whether you should be compensated for providing care is not for you or your brothers to answer; it is, or was, your mother's decision.
Is your mother still able to understand the issue? Does any of you children have power of attorney?