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Adam, I would check with local assisted living facilities and get information on respite care, depending on her condition you may need to check out nursing homes, it is expensive but you need at least a month to get your head screwed back on and figure out how to go forward.

I take it you are not her only family, but you are the only one helping her. Time for change! You need to put it in writing that you need a month break and at the end of that a family meeting to figure out grandma's care.

Who told you she doesn't qualify for Medicaid? The kids that expect to receive an inheritance? There are miller trusts, also called qualified income trusts, that can be set up to help someone qualify for Medicaid, these are not do it yourself projects, go to www.nelf.org and find a certified elder law attorney in your area to help you determine if she can be qualified for assistance. It is well worth your time and her money to find out what options are available for her and you.

You are a great grandson to help her, but as a grandmother I would never want my grandchildren to lose out on the best years of their young lives to create their own lives and families. I would want them to visit and bring me mung sprouts and share all the wonderful things that they are experiencing, but I would never be happy if I thought they were missing important milestones.

Start making calls in the morning for respite, she will need a tb test and it may require a doctor's assessment of daily activities that she needs help with. It can take a few weeks to get this lined up, so the sooner you start the sooner you get a break and reset.
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Look into Christain support groups is worth a try
God bless.
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I Appreciate the tips as a grandson I have been living with my grandma for years. Since she has been getting more Dementia, the rest the family has been helping all they can. And l am her caregiver and power of attorney. Just want to find out if she would ever need nursing home care would medicaid let me Inherit some of her estate for all the 14 years I've been her caregiver?
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Adam, how old are you? Your situation doesn't sound sustainable for you. I don't think you can get paid enough to make it worth your while and not rob from your pwn future. Let them know you will be ending your services. Who has Power of Attorney for your gramma? This person should start looking for a reputable facility for her right away. They shouldn't let her lack of funds stop them from placing her. Once she's in a facility that accepts Medicaid, and she runs out of money and becomes eligible, she cannot be kicked out. This is what we did for my MIL and she's in a great place. Blessings!
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I'm not sure what the whole picture is here but I can see you are stressing by the post alone. You got to find a way to get a break from the cycle. Caretaker burnout is serious and your grandma deserves you to be the best you. If you can't get a day away then take 10-15 minutes here and there throughout the day to regroup. Maybe stretch or listen to music that puts you in a good mood. If you need to talk message me anytime..
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lealonnie1 Nov 2019
Don't you think the POSTER deserves to be the best HE can be for HIS OWN sake? This is never ONLY about the elder who's being cared for, lest the elder outlive the caretaker!!! 10 minutes here and there is NOT ENOUGH time to take a break from care giver burnout, let's face it.
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If she doesn't qualify for Medicaid, then she has funds...........use some of them to get her in home assistance a few days a week to give you a much needed break. Also, look into respite care for a week so you can take a vacation, which I'm sure you'd love to do!

You are the grandson, I take it.............so where is your mother and your grandmother's other children? Why are you being left in charge as the sole care giver to such an old woman? Does your family not realize what a huge burden it is to take care of someone 24/7?? You should not be in this position to begin with, really, and I'm sorry you are.

I hope you can allocate some of your grandmother's money to getting her outside care. I also hope some of your family members will MAN UP and help you out here! You deserve some help.
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PussJr Nov 2019
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