I'm brand new to this and I'm freaking out a bit. Does this get easier?

Yes and no.
Surprisingly no matter how squeamish you think you might be you learn to ignore it and just deal with it like you did with your children.

Hospice allows (in most situations and in most areas) Respite care for the Caregiver which is normally 5 days out of every 30 days which is paid for by Medicare, your dad will be taken to either a Nursing Home or the Hospice House for your Respite sometimes just knowing you'll get a break is enough to keep you going and help you get through it.

Unfortunately as you find a groove and things start to feel easier you may find your dads conditions change and it will sometimes feel like you're getting gut punched.

My dad had COPD It got easier for me with him even as he entered end stage...... Switching to my mother she's got Dementia and every time I felt like I got a grip on the situation her Dementia would change, right now I'm dealing with end stage with mom and it's not easy at all.... the diapers, feeding and clean ups that's the easy stuff.
The other aspects you'll be confronted with..... not so easy at times.

My heart goes out to you. I know exactly what you are going thru. I , also have a home, kids and a husband along with a job at that time. My dad and mom both were released from the hospital two days apart. they were also released into hospice care at their home. I moved my parents from a home they lived in for fifty years as so they could be closer to us for the help they needed. I also felt I needed to move in with them as I could see the decline in their health. I was/am a very lucky woman to marry a man who stood by me every step of the way. he understood why I needed to do this and didn't fight me on this issue at all. he would come over their house as much as possible. my husband also had/ has health issues at the same time they did. he has Parkinsons
Disease, was being treated for prostrate cancer at the time. and

has COPD. I have four sisters two older and two younger and not one of them would step up to the plate at all. they made every excuse you could think of to me. after a while I stopped asking for help. I knew that my parents were dying and my sister didn't give a crap. so my option was to do it all myself. and I did.
you ask if it gets better with time ? I wont lie to you. there are times when they are ok and you can speak, feed, laugh with them and than there were days that were horrible and you wish the day would be over. It doesn't get better because their health is not going to get better. I trained myself to forget the bad times and enjoy the good times with them. we laughed and cried together told family stories to each other when they were up to it.
at night I would lay my head on the pillow and think of the funny things they said or did that day and was able to fall asleep.
I am so sorry you are going thru this but remember your dads time on this earth is limited. love him and enjoy him and you will get thru it all.... with wonderful memories.
my parents died three weeks apart. I don't regret my decision to help them thru their final days on this earth. I got to know them better than I ever had before, and even loved them more.
my parents gave me life and I wanted to be there for them when they took their last breath on this earth in my arms....
miss them both dearly.
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I deal with this on a daily basis. Handling your father's embarrassment will be easier for both of you if you approach it clinically. I try to not show any outward emotions except to get the job done. Try asking him what might make this easier on him. In my opinion it does get easier. And harder. Try to schedule time away for both of you. Stay connected with you family. I'm sorry you both are dealing with this hard issue. My mom was always very clean and capable. She was ill and hospitalized earlier this year and came home a different person. Please hang in there.

You did not say why you have not arranged for a caregiver to come in for maybe 4 or 5 hours per day for relief for you. If it is financially feasible, do that. We had to get help. I have a bad shoulder and it was impossible for me to handle my mother who was bedridden. We did 8 hours per day with private caregiver who charged much less than the caregivers who have overhead and is a chain. Mom had to wear diapers so we had the bowel movements to deal with too after the caregiver left. Just a recommendation for you if you all can handle it financially.

I'm sad to say from my experience ...it does not get easier...it becomes manageable as you learn how to juggle it all. When you say "released to Hospice" was there anyone set up to help you navigate his end of life care? Hospice programs in our area (SE PA) are wonderful at assisting the person on Hospice, their caregivers & loved ones.

Put Vicks Vapo Rub under your nose to help with the smell of bowel products. Help yourself out in this beginning journey as much as possible - possibly getting a Bidet toilet and plenty of toileting products including wipes.

Yes Hospice should be providing you with suppliesie diapers, wipes, a daily or weekly nurse visits, CNA should come in to clean him up, and you may want to hire a caregiver for the time during the day or at night so you van take a breather, and no its gets harder so you may want to consider some help and you have to now take over your Dad finances and bill paying etc.. so you will need a POA for medical and financial so you can pay the bills and make medical decisions for him .. I got mine from LegalZoom at an affordable price. I am real sorry for this abrupt change in your life and the best thing to do is prepare yourself and take control of his and your new normal...

In my (hopefully, so far) brief experience of 6 months, it gets harder but then it gets easier. When my mom was put on hospice back then, she could still walk (not well, but she could do it) and feed herself. She had some memory abilities but they were fading fast. Since then she is bedridden, incontinent and can't feed herself. She remembers her children's names but that's about it, can't swallow well so food choices are limited (although she constantly wants food she can't have).

My mom has advanced dementia. Just when you get used to playing the cards you were dealt, the House deals a new hand. It's a new normal to get used to. But you do.

Our hospice program has an aide come in daily for wash up, teeth brushing etc and they'll change her while they're here. But I do all the rest of it. They also provide nurse visits every other day; if they think she's near death they come as often as needed - daily or more. They monitor vitals etc. A hospice social worker monitors how the caregivers (that would be you, siblings etc.) are doing and handling things and will help you find resources to cope.

My employer has been letting me work from home 3 days a week; my sister fills in one of the two days I go to work and a paid caregiver takes the other one. My brother (who travels a lot) takes Saturdays so I can get some time away. It's the best we can do and I'm carrying the lion's share of the workload...her laundry, administering medicine, grocery shopping (let me tell you, Amazon and Instacart are my two best friends these days). It can be overwhelming at times, especially when work is crazy. Fortunately my mom sleeps a lot more now so it's easier to balance everything.

I'm not a fan of BMs either - lately my mom's had a lot of them and she doesnt usually know when they are coming so - lately her new trick is having one AS I'm changing her (ugh!!) but I changed plenty of my kids' diapers so it's really not that bad. She'd prefer to use the potty but that's no longer possible and since our roles are reversed and I'm technically in the role of 'parent' she goes along because the only alternative is she doesn't get changed and has to sit in it.

Do the best you can but if you get to a point of no return consider hospice in a facility. I'm almost there myself as I can tell I am physically and mentally approaching my limit.

Like being a new parent, you learn and perfect skills and coping.

I am concerned that you have family 1/2 hour away but spend all your time with dad. Does his insurance cover some of hospice care? You should be able to arrange for paid caregivers to help ease the load on you. Your dad needs you, but so do your hubby and kids. Try to find a balance that allows you to spend some "time off" with your family as well as quality time with your dad.

If either of your parents are/were veterans consider getting VA assistance. My dad was a veteran and we were able to get assistance for my mom. Contact your local office of the aging and social services to see if he qualifies for additional aid.
Sending hugs.

Since you mentioned broken hip and pneumonia, is/was he on antibiotics? Usually it happens earlier in the course, but antibiotics can cause nasty BMs. Mom had to take them for cellulitis, 2 rounds of meds, and within a day or so of starting those, she lost control in the kitchen. This delayed her move to MC a few days. OB was there and had to clean up floor and clothes.

She did NOT have any medical problems before that (only takes meds for BP, long term) and her major Dx at this point is dementia. Later in MC she had a UTI and had to take antibiotics again. At her regular review they mentioned bowel incontinence, so I got OTC probiotics. It isn't clear if that cleared her up or just time/off the meds, but at the following reviews, there was no mention of antibiotics.

While antibiotics are certainly helpful, could it be the cause of this? Has the follow up BMs been the same? Is the cancer digestive related?

Are you the only option for his care?  I don't know about you, but I have no desire to be a caregiver for an adult. It was thrust upon me and I have been arranging for supplemental care so that I only fill in the gaps.  Don't feel guilty because you want to be his daughter and aren't keen on wiping his bottom.  If your dad is still mentally competent, I am sure he is as mortified as you are.  Are they not treating the hip break because of the stage 4 cancer?  Surely he qualifies for some type of care...?  Someone that can come in and get him bathed and dressed in the morning and someone that can come in later in the day to get him settled at night?  I would talk with Hospice and see if they can help you figure out care for him.  Or if he is a veteran, there are resources out there.

To answer your question, some things get a little easier...then different problems arise.  What changes is that you get smarter about how to handle them!
Take care of yourself.

Triciast....
You poor baby. First, you are not so much your dad's "caretaker", but his Caregiver. Caretakers are usually associated with lawn care or property care of some sort.....just a technicality...😃.
Second, I'm sure your situation will not improve, but may become more exhausting and, at times, overwhelming.
Thank God you got hospice involved. Use them! They are an excellent source of practical help, physical assistance, and well-informed advice.
And third....this is vital to your sanity and well being: Make sure your soul is saved by Jesus Christ, and also that of your father! He needs to be Sure of where he is heading before very long. Take no chances. We all default to Hell if no choice is made for our soul's destination.
You want peace of mind.....ask Christ into your heart, in all sincerity....please make absolutely certain that your soul is saved, and safe, as well as your father's soul. He needs to be certain about where he will be heading. I can't stress this enough! Eternity is Forever! Don't mess up! Your precious souls are on the line! I tell you this in Love, ok.
Hospice is an excellent resource! Talk to them! And use them!
May God be with you always! 🌺🕊🌺

Ask for help! Insurance, church, service groups all can offer help and advice. If your dad is like most he will be resistant to letting “strangers” in the house but you need to start now marshaling helpers.

Catholic Family Services, Adult Services, in Ohio Passport, even local senior services. the sooner you reach out the sooner you can get assistance for your dad and get back to your family.

Involve your dad in making the contacts and interviews. Letting him have some choice in the matter will help. Like dealing with a small child, do you want to wear the red coat or the blue coat. You’re going to wear a coat but you get to pick the color!

I appreciate this group so much. Things have progressed rapidly and tonight my dad told me he is ready to die. I see that he is leaving this earth in many ways. I don't want anyone to think that I didn't like the support I got here, because the opposite is true. I probably won't be around much anymore, except maybe over the next few days in the dying forums. I truly thank everyone so much for their past offerings of thoughts, prayers, and support. I with it back to you a million-fold.

No it does not get easier. I have the same problem with my husband. (many years of this) Your Dad needs urgent care at this time. You cannot do this anymore. You have a husband, a family that needs you at home. Get the help he needs and do not feel guilty. My situation is different. He is my husband and I stand by, "for better or worse" Your first responsibility lies with your family and your Dad MUST understand!