I'm baking up here! I feel like a lobster...without butter. What am I to do?


Mom was diagnosed with mid-late stage Dem/Alz about 4 years ago and up to this point I've been able to deal with everything somehow, more or less, but this is going to be impossible. Mom has now started to turn off the A/C during the day, we've been having 85+ degree days and I sleep during the day since I work 3rd shift, and wake up in a pool of sweat. Our house is a 2 story single family that was converted into a 2 unit back in the 50's when Gr-Gramma got deathly sick. There is only 1 thermo and that's downstairs. She says it's not hot and open the windows and turn on the fan. Yah right! Upstairs averages 90+ daily w/o the A/C and I take 2 presc. sedatives to sleep because it's hard for me to sleep during the day; high circadian rhythm; and the 2 new families that moved in are, and this is going to sound so wrong, are like rednecks. They're like the guys with the 4wd monster truck in the bookings.com commercial, at all hours of the day and night. I can deal with it on my 1 day off, which is a Wed but other than that, it's he11 to get to sleep...I digressed, sorry. I need some kind of bluetooth or Wi-Fi thermostat that I can install downstairs. My laptop has both and I can access it that way. I just can't deal with waking up in a 94 degree pool of sweat after maybe just being able to doze off for 3 hours. Last week just did it for me. I woke up and it was 97 up here and she had the HEAT on because she was cold and it was 80 outside! I try to keep her windows open and the doors too, they both are the older heavy screen doors with the fancy glass opening windows on them. She says she keeps them shut because she doesn't want anyone looking in. There's no option to put in a window unit because all these windows are different sizes but the sills are only 2 ft off the floor so it's useless to get one and they are very expensive to run. Also, I have the windows in the bedroom covered with black const. paper and and Styrofoam, not noticeable from the outside, to keep the light out and noise down. Waking up in that heat everyday for the last week negates ALL the benefit of trying to sleep and the cost of the sedatives. What am I to do????



@smeshque I tried that a years ago. That's the reason I had to get a new thermostat; she took a hammer to it and busted it. Luckily she didn't damage the 70 y/o wood paneling.
@Becky04473 I thought about that but it's out of the question. The upstairs isn't wired for grounded plugs; they're all still 2 wire/2 blade receptacles when they finally finished off the upstairs in the 40's. Only the bathroom has a GFI circuit because it was redone 6 years ago and the only outlet is on the switch above the sink.
@cwillie The 2 rooms upstairs; my bedroom and the front room have the windows covered in black construction paper and Styrofoam for starters. They are the original counterbalanced windows from the 30's so unless they're locked; they rattle like crazy. I have thin rubber T-seals (automotive style) in the tops of them for the winter to stop leaks even though I plastic seal all of them upstairs in the winter. Even those portable units need to be vented out a window.
@freqflyer & shakingdustoff Mom is OK for the most part, still, with being alone during the day. She has no issues nuking her coffee (she has started cycling the water in the Mr. Coffee until it's hot Then adds the coffee...go figure) makes some toast and PB, has some cookies, grabs some fresh cantaloupe (it's SO sweet this time) or has some coffee cake in the 2 days she's alone til I get up and go down to make her dinner. It's only 2 days a week that she is; IF and when my brother works; and if he's not working he's downstairs with her so I can Try to sleep. I can't get myself to move. I tried to ghost one night but turned around at the state line. Mom worked 3 jobs daily for most of her life after they got divorced in '71 when I was 6 y/o and in the late 70's thru the late 80's she added a 3rd to help pay for my 2 younger brothers education. She gets SS and a few peanuts from one of her other jobs for her 401k (under $900/mo Total) I pay for everything.
@SueC1957 Oh, thanks a lot. LOL Hope you have a great night out on your anniversary and dance the night away.
@chdottir That's exactly what I'm doing now; looking for a Wi-Fi thermo. The one I think I'm gonna get is the Honeywell Lyric T5 Wi-Fi (RCHT8610WF2006 ). I'm surprised at their cost though...$150 and up! Also, I've been reading a few articles on adding a remote switch that I can install the disable hers and activate mine; after calling a HVAC tech close to me. If that's the better route, it's save me more money since I'll only need a basic thermostat up here and the switch module; about $50 total including buying the 50' spool of 18/5 thermostat wire.
------I Thank ALL of you who commented. I know that everyone is trying to help and, actually, every comment helps emotionally because it's making me feel less alone in this situation. The nurse that comes in Fri, Sat, Sun from 2-6pm is so nice but that's the most I can afford so I had to set it up when I work for me to sleep. I hate having my weekend on Tue and Wed. and it's hard on Mom because she has a hard time with any schedule other than 9-5 Mon-Fri like Grandpa had. It would be easier on every front except for giving her her meds and taking her to the Drs but This is life and I have to make the best of it. God Bless All of You and Thank You for your advice! ;)
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to Sonny65

The portable units that are just big enough to cool one room shouldn't cost much money to run when compared to central air, and the "white noise" might actually help to muffle the noisy neighbours.
Helpful Answer (4)
Reply to cwillie

Sonny, how is your Mother doing since she has mid to late stage Alzheimer's/Dementia?

Just curious who is watching her when you are sleeping during the day, and while you are at work late at night. Can she be left alone?

As Veronica91 above said, your Mom is feeling cold. I remember walking into my parents house and it felt like a rain forest, yet my Mom was wearing clothes like she was going on an Arctic exposition. Her hands were always freezing.

Sleeping in a very hot room isn't healthy, plus the lack of sleep as the air feels so heavy. Any chance your Mom could budget for herself to move to Assisted Living/Memory Care [not a nursing home]?
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to freqflyer

Sonny I feel your pain, sleeping in the day is very difficult in any circumstances but you have had some good suggestions so hope you can work something out.

It is amazing how the elderly can feel cold when the weather outside is boiling. So I don't think mom is being nasty she really does feel cold and you will see elders wearing sweaters when it's 90 out. Just part of the aging I am afraid.
If you are too short of money to follow up on the suggestions you can make a simple cooler very cheaply. Basically all you need is a box of ice and a small fan and something to enclose the ice box. You can probably find instructions on U tube.

Open up a cardboard box big enough to hold the ice, which you may have to buy, at
both ends . Set the box at one end and cut the flaps approx the same size as the fan Close the other end and cut a similar hole and tape the ends.
Place the whole contraption with the open end facing your bed, if necessary set the whole thing on a table so it is at your level and enjoy. Sorry can't help with the neibors you are blessed with but maybe some ear plugs would help. You may even be able to cut back on the sleeping pills
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to Veronica91

Everything I thought of has been said. A heating/aircon company could probably fix you up in no time.

I hope you solve your problem soon. I remember working nights for 10 years, with a bedroom facing the sun and no air conditioner. It was h*ll to sleep. Like early menopause!

Reflecting on lobster......yum, haven't had it for quite awhile but it definitely was WITH butter!
Hmmm....our anniversary is coming up. Maybe a trip to Puerto Nuevo, (near Rosarito, Baja California, Mexico) for a lobster lunch. Thanks for the thought.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to SueC1957

There are stand alone air conditioners that don’t have to be put in a window - suitable for one room - cost about $500.00.
Helpful Answer (6)
Reply to anonymous439773

I've read of making the most obvious thermostat a dummy one - where your Mom can change it willy nilly and not make a difference. That way she will feel she still has control. Then have a different one (probably wireless), that actually controls things located where your Mom can't see or reach it. Would require paying for a new thermostat and connection, but it might be worth it.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to chdottir

There "are" wifi thermostats, my family member used one in his student rental. Or maybe you could just get a programmable thermostat, the one that was in my house when I moved in had no instructions and it was so annoying trying to figure out how to change the settings that I replaced it... maybe you could just leave the old one there so she can play with it and put the new one on the opposite side of the wall.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to cwillie

Can you put a lock box on thermostat, where you only have a key? Don't know if that's helpful, just throwing it out there.
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Reply to smeshque