I'm an outside caregiver for an elderly gentleman and his family does not get along! I feel like I'm in the middle of all of this, what can I do?

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There is a live in daughter and a daughter that lives close and 3 more children that live in other areas and are here on occasion to visit. No one can come to an agreement about what's best for him and I’m here every week day and feel like I'm in the middle of all this !!!! What should I do or what can I do ? Both have threated legal action against each other!

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You become Switzerland, stay neutral. If any of them want to tattle about what someone is doing just tell them that you aren't comfortable discussing their private family issues. Repeat as often as needed.
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it's kind of like a divorce situation. if you focus on the children you CANNOT go wrong. in this case, if you focus on the patient, you CANNOT go wrong. you're there for him, not to engage in their drama. be his advocate. absolutely no one can fault you for that!!
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Caregiver4you, I agree 100% with cwillie above, stay away from the discussion. Hopefully the father isn't in the room when everyone lets loose. It is so sad that families cannot be on the same page and try to work as a team.... [sigh].
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When I worked in hospice I had some families who were at odds with each other and I'd get an earful from one family member about another family member and then another earful from that family member about the other family member. It happens. But as you've read here, remain neutral. Do not comment on anything or participate in any familial back-biting. Getting involved is the surest way to lose your job. Also understand that if the adult children are crabbing and complaining about each other they're probably going to crab and complain about you when you're not there. Go above and beyond for your client, don't cut corners, and don't give the family any reason to complain about the job you're doing.
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It’s not your fight so pop some popcorn and watch. Stay neutral. Don’t get sucked in, because they’ll try. Good luck.
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caregiver, great words above about staying neutral and focusing, focusing, focusing on him. I’ll bet you’re doing that. Are you wondering whether you can improve your work environment? Because that would be tough to bear. Does the home layout allow for you and the patient to be in one area and ask the others to enjoy another part of the house? Speak to your management and perhaps together develop strategies/pat statements like ‘this is our exercise time’ or ‘this is when we read’ (and we have to be on our own)? Good luck, you and the dad deserve some peace! Legal schmegal, don’t get wound up by what they say to each other.
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It's always best not to get involved but if the situation getting way out of control, maybe suggest consulting with a medical social worker. Does you client have someone who is a legal guardian or POA? Tread very lightly and try an do the very best you can for the client. If you and/or your client is endangered somehow it may be a good reason to either leave your job, quietly but  or call Adult Protective Services. They are not always a great choice because there isn't a whole lot they can do in some cases, but put safely a number one priority for yourself and client. I cared for a man who was still competent but seemed to enjoy all the drama, even instigated trouble between daughters.
Also a childless women had family where one niece had somehow wrangle assuming POA and she was abusive to her aunt took her to the cleaners. I felt too uncomfortable in an impossible situation. Once she died they all fought over her estate, but POA won. I was quite disgusted so I had left before that but kept in touch with another of her caregivers. Heartbreaking! Private duty care can be pretty unnerving. Families can be harder to deal with than clients. Good luck!
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Report the family to Human Resources.

This will eventually affect your health - you need to report to your company and make sure you dot all your i's and cross the t's.

Caretaking and putting up with "family drama" that isn't even your family should not be in your job description.
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Is the problem because one is telling u one thing and the other another. If so, you need to talk to the daughter that lives with him. I am assuming she hired you. Explain that its hard for you taking orders from more than one person especially when no one agrees. She needs to explain this to the others. If they have a problem with his care they need to talk to the one who hired u and that is the one you answer to.
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Hi CareGiver4You,
My first question: Who in the family has the Power of Attorney? The other family members need to come to grips regarding who has the authority to make decisions. The other adult children would not have legal authority to make decisions. If you are to converse with any of them regarding the turmoil, it should be the POA. Turmoil in the home certainly adds to the stress for your patient, in addition to yourself. Obviously, that's NOT healthy for you or for him!

If one of the family members is abusive to the others, and if that's the cause of the turmoil, then you may want to contact Adult Protective Services - as suggested by Allisonthecarer. If the problem is caused by an abusive family member, and when that person is with their father alone, they may be abusive toward him when no one else is paying attention.

If the situation escalates, you may wish to consider moving on to find a more peaceful situation. As you know caregiving is stressful enough as it is! Neither you or the patient should have to endure the bickering and fighting.

If there isn't a POA, that's another reason to contact APS, because someone will need to make decisions for the patient. If the family spends all their time fighting, then they are also neglecting to provide proper care due to the stress they are causing. Guardianship may be necessary.
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