I know my sister is the leader of the pack of this hate. My mother had an irrevocable trust and I'm the trustee. How can I protect me from any lawsuit that my sister may or may not do. What should I do to prepare myself?
Check you paperwork, but usually the healthcare proxy/POA decides where the principal lives and the financial/durable POA needs to handle paying the bills for it.
Although you state you can handle your mother's care without expense to the estate, I would discourage you from spending only your own funds to provide for your mother's needs. I would encourage you to get a care giver agreement in place with your mother stating mother will contribute to the household expenses and funds for up to xx hours of respite care per week (as needed) as well as annual respite for a vacation or two. If you and the financial/DPOA are having issues now, it will most likely get worse over time, particularly if your mother does become incapacitated. The precedent needs to be set that your mother's care will be funded from her resources. You also need to consider that someday your mother may need to qualify for Medicaid (even if she remains in your home, there are some services available via Medicaid) and a care giver agreement will make sure Mom's expenses are viewed as expenses and not disqualifying gifts. Remember this could be a long term arrangement and a caregiver agreement doesn't compel you to use mother's funds now. An agreement just facilitates the option if the day comes when Mom needs more care that you can provide without some help or additional resources.
Who wins, if the POA and healthcare agent disagree about where the patient should live and what care should be provided? I am the healthcare proxy and my powers are active right now, between multiple diagnoses and hospitalization and a recent diagnosis of dementia/Alz. My sister is POA but only upon enactment of the trust, and mom is not incapacitated yet according to her doctors. I want Mom to live in my home where I can easily care for her with a little respite. POA wants to drain the bank accounts to provide expensive paid care in her home instead. Who gets to decide? I can provide care without expense to the estate, so it seems like I can bypass her since the AHCD includes wording about choosing housing...?
Contact top elder care lawyer and get the best legal advice you can. You can talk yourself blue in the face, but it'll just exhaust you, and not resolve a thing.
Although you state you can handle your mother's care without expense to the estate, I would discourage you from spending only your own funds to provide for your mother's needs. I would encourage you to get a care giver agreement in place with your mother stating mother will contribute to the household expenses and funds for up to xx hours of respite care per week (as needed) as well as annual respite for a vacation or two. If you and the financial/DPOA are having issues now, it will most likely get worse over time, particularly if your mother does become incapacitated. The precedent needs to be set that your mother's care will be funded from her resources. You also need to consider that someday your mother may need to qualify for Medicaid (even if she remains in your home, there are some services available via Medicaid) and a care giver agreement will make sure Mom's expenses are viewed as expenses and not disqualifying gifts. Remember this could be a long term arrangement and a caregiver agreement doesn't compel you to use mother's funds now. An agreement just facilitates the option if the day comes when Mom needs more care that you can provide without some help or additional resources.
I am the healthcare proxy and my powers are active right now, between multiple diagnoses and hospitalization and a recent diagnosis of dementia/Alz. My sister is POA but only upon enactment of the trust, and mom is not incapacitated yet according to her doctors. I want Mom to live in my home where I can easily care for her with a little respite. POA wants to drain the bank accounts to provide expensive paid care in her home instead. Who gets to decide? I can provide care without expense to the estate, so it seems like I can bypass her since the AHCD includes wording about choosing housing...?
yourself blue in the face, but it'll just exhaust you, and not resolve a thing.