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I'm mom and dad's fulltime caregiver and my dad refuses to sign a caregiver contract or agreement. I'm only paid $300/wk in Honolulu, Hawaii where it's so expensive and I have no real spending money.


I moved back home to Hawaii from Australia and left my wife there to continue her job. My mom want's to leave the house to me so I'm caregiving for 2 years to get on the title of the house. What exactly do I need as documentation and ID and any other things to be put on the title?


My father is a very stubborn man and refuses to sign a caregivers contract and he doesn't agree to put me on the title even if he dies. The durable POA states that both my sister and I have POA if one or the other can't care for them but I have a nurse aid certificate and Prometric certificate.


I've already been caregiving for 1 year and another year to go. My question is how does the family caregiver go thru the process of being put on the title of the house?

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I am sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you and your family.
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I am so sorry for your loss.

Thank God that it was so peaceful for her.
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Thank you for the responses. My mom just passed away this evening in her sleep. She had her lunch, I made her comfortable and she passed away sometime between 2pm when I saw her last and 5pm when I was preparing her dinner. She didn't suffer or feel any pain. She just slipped away.
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Are you living with your mother and father in their home? Are you paying any of the home's running costs?

I don't want to sound unsympathetic, but if you're getting $300 a week and you're living rent-free it all begins to look a bit different.

Is part of your father's problem that he has always expected your parents' estate to be divided equally between you and your sister?
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I can attest to the pay. Not drastically higher per week in my neck of the woods. They call it light duties. Well, there is nothing light about being a caregiver (paid or unpaid). Not to mention the gas expense it takes me to travel. I would surely not perform such services for anyone else with said pay.

Does dad fear you will kick him out someway if you are put on title to home? I know when my parents first did their will they placed my oldest brother as the executor. Well dad and son can’t get along to save their life. His fear is that if mom dies, the oldest will kick him out and take over.
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Shell38314 avatar
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Shell38314 Apr 2019
Unfortunately that seems to happen way to offen!
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Go home. This is an untenable and unfair situation.

It sounds like mom wants one thing and dad wants another. You should not get into the middle.

Again. Go home.
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Go home to your wife and let your stubborn dad figure things out. No work agreement, no work.
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I would treat carefully if you are already POA because you have a fiduciary responsibility to your parents. It might not be a good idea to bring in a lawyer to try to force your dad into something he doesn’t want to do.
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The chances are that you can’t get ‘put on the title’ if the property is in your parents name and they don’t agree. You also have a sister who may put her hand up for equal shares in the estate (which is what will happen automatically if there is no will). You are running a real risk of getting very little for the time and effort you have put in, and you will also lose the love you feel for your parents if you finally feel that you have been taken for a sucker. Probably lose your love for your sister, if that goes pear shaped too. Perhaps the best thing you could do is to see a lawyer, and then take the lawyer with you to see your parents. If your father is told clearly by the lawyer that what he is doing is not treating you in the way that was promised, and he insists on it staying that way, your best option is to go home. Let your sister take a turn, with both the care and the argument.
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