I'm 63 and permanently disabled. The nursing home tells my mom she can't support me anymore. Is there anything we can do?


I am a disabled adult child. I have been permanently disabled since 1980. My parents have had to support me. My dad passed on in 2015. My mom continued to support me. In January of 2018 just after the new year, she was put in to a nursing home after being taken to the hospital for a UTI. The state says she's there for good because she cannot get the treatment she needs living at home. She wants to continue supporting me but the home says she cannot!! Is there anything we or she can do? I will be homeless soon because of this.

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You are going to need to figure this out anyway... What will happen when your mom passes away. Make some calls and hopefully you will be able to find a way to get the help you need. Much luck
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to Grammyteacher

I am assuming you have SSD with Medicare and Medicaid. Not sure if a Special Needs Trust comes into this situation. With my nephew it was set up because of money he received from an insurance policy. Now Mom is in a NH all her money goes to her care.

You may need a lawyer. You have to establish that ur parents have been footing your care. Is there a house? For now, talk to your County Social Service Office. You maybe able to get tempore help till someone can help you figure this out. I saw your other post. They may not be sending Mom home because there is no one to care for her. If you are on Medicaid, call your caseworker (You have to fill out yearly paperwork so the person you return it to) and explain your situation. Hre/She maybe able to get u help.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to JoAnn29

It isn't up to the nursing home how the money must be spent. It is up to Medicaid (I'm assuming that is the issue here.) Medicaid does require all the person's income to be used on her own care, BUT there are exceptions if there is a community spouse or a dependent. I don't know if it would apply to your case, but that is the first thing I'd look into. Call your Area Agency on Aging, explain the situation, and ask for help in finding out if some of Mom's money could be directed to you.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to jeannegibbs

Is there any reason that you haven't applied for (government issued) disability from your state?

Has your disability (either physical or mental) been documented by an MD?

If you can be examined by a doctor and be declared disabled, you can file for permanent disability and be awarded enough money to live on. You also would be able to use all the services for disabled people through the Disabilities Act.

Please follow up so you'll have income if the force your mom to stop supporting you.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to SueC1957

Have you looked into mom setting up a Special Needs Trust for you?
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to BarbBrooklyn

It sounds like your mother's funds are needed for her care now. Can you apply for disability coverage for yourself? Does your mother own or rent her home?

Have you been in touch with your local social service organizations to ask what help is available?

What degree of care do you need? Or can you manage the ADLs, but need financial support?
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to Tothill