I’m 24 but have been taking care of my grandparents since I was 19. Any advice?

Miso, please start planning your escape! You are worth it. I am so glad you are a student. That to me means that you are a serious person with dreams and plans.

Give your parents a bit of notice, say two weeks to be fair, that they will need to be resuming THEIR OWN RESPONSIBILITIES for the grandparents, and then hit the open road. Find some roommates, find a part-time job, and concentrate on your studies and future profession.

Keep us updated. We'll all be cheering you on!

You will have to learn that you have this one life. You will have to learn that your first responsibility is to you. What do you feel guilty about? About wanting a real life of your own? Your grandmother had one, you know. Now it is your turn. No one is going to pin a medal on your chest. You are setting yourself up to be the martyr who expects people to proclaim you a Saint. But they won't. You can be as sorry as you want to be. Easily one half of life is pretty awful, and when you become old, it is 100% awful. It is a long slow slide with no upside. Here you are CHOOSING that for yourself. You are CHOOSING it. I won't blame your Grandparents for guilting you. They are old and they are desperate. Is that sad. You betcha it is. Do the best you can with visiting them when they are in care. But now is the time to move out, get your own place and move on. You can tell them you are sorry that you are not the Saint they want to think you could be. Guilt is the single word I see the most on this forum. Really? It comes usually from people who treat you SO BAD, who make you desperate to hear "You are a good girl and I love you". Well, you won't hear it. You will give up your life for no reason. I am 77. I would no more allow my grandson and his wife to take care of me than the man in the moon. NEVER! I would go off a bridge first. To me, there should be laws. If children choose this, then they choose it; I would still caution against it. But GRANDchildren? Is there no limit to the destruction we are willing to do for our own needs? Get out. And if you stay, just expect more walking upon the doormat as folks come and go through your life. I know this is tough, but you need to hear it. This is your CHOICE. They can only do this to you if you allow it. Be kind. Be gentle. Tell them you are very sorry and you know they are desperate and afraid, but they need to pretend for the moment that there is no granddaughter, because you need to get a life for yourself while you are able.And by the way, Miso, I just looked. They are 74 and 79???? Hon, you got TWENTY years of this ahead of you, and you ain't seen nothing yet. Wait until the dementia and the wandering and the incontinence starts. You are on line for all kinds of fun in this your life. And if you are caring for them for 5 years, then you started when they were in their 60s. This is definitely not a good sign.

You shouldn't be in this position, it is not your responsibility, you are so young and deserve to live your own life. Talk to your parents, tell them that you can no longer do this, put the ball in their court, let them and your grandparents figure this out. Time to move on, get a job and do your own thing. I wish you the best!

Miso, your screen name makes me think you are Japanese?

Japan has a culture of the family always cares for their elderly. Is that why you are stuck with this? You are 24 so grandparents must be in their 50's or early 60's?
Do they really need caregiving?

Are you in Japan? In the U.S. and other western countries caregiving for the elderly is not considered a responsibility of younger generations. You deserve your life. Where are your parents, why are they not doing or arranging for the needed care?

AwkwardMiso, here is a good article to great about grandchildren caring for grandparents. https://www.agingcare.com/articles/grandchildren-caring-for-their-grandparents-149490.htm

Caretaking is a lot for you to be dealing with on your own. This I can't imagine doing this on my own. Don't be sorry. Have you tried contacting any agencies for assistance or advice yet? This really will continue to take a toll on your mental and physical health. Browse through the topics on caregiving in these forums. I have found so much useful advice. Also you'll see that you aren't alone in feeling the way you do. Sending hugs.

How did you end up being their caregiver?

Where are their children (your parents in particular)?

Are you in the US?

Do you attend school or work at a job?

Giving us some pertinent details will help us to give you better answers.

You are NOT a brat!!

(((((Hugs))))))