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Hi all – I'm reaching out with deep admiration for everyone here. I recently became the primary caregiver for my father, who is battling a third round of cancer. The years of chemo/radiation have been brutal, and he's pretty reliant on me throughout most of the day. I've only been at it for 2 months, but already I've struggled with the challenges that a lot of you have posted about here. The loss of freedom, the lack of acknowledgement, the building resentments, the feeling like you're watching your own life slip by, and no good support systems to top it all off – you name it.
I've learned a lot just from reading these forums, but I'd love to go deeper and hear what your days are like. What's the hardest for you? What (if anything) helps lighten the load and where do you go for support?
Please feel free to reply here or message me directly if you'd rather talk privately. If you're ever open to chatting by phone, I'd be honored to hear more about your experience. Either way, I'm so grateful for anything you're willing to share – and for everything you already do.

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Hi there!
Sending you love, light, and hugs! I’m blessed to be my father’s full time caregiver and am especially experiencing stress over finances at this time. Above that, it’s so difficult for a daughter to watch her dad suffer! I’m sorry you are experiencing something similar. It’s nice to be able to connect!
Love,
Jill
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I agree with Ariadnee:
Just keep reading backwards.
Our stories are there.
If you want to message anyone with deeper questions, do that on the private message. If they have the time, they will answer you even if only to tell you they simply don't have the time.
Want to welcome you.
If you read going back on the threads you will find a lot of mirrors and you will find a lot of unique experiences.
Best out to you.

As to your Father: do you have deep conversations, honest ones about how far he wishes to go with treatments, when he would like palliative or hospice care? As both a cancer survivor (so far, at least) and a woman in 80s, it is important families have these conversations together.
Good luck, and again--welcome.
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Ariadnee Jul 6, 2025
My mother refused to have hospice/palliative discussions. One day I announced a hospice nurse would be visiting her. Mom didn’t say a word. When the nurse was there, I left the room. It was best for them to talk. I’d already been briefed by hospice. So, it worked out for mom to feel she had some say in the process.
My husband and I have his end of life wishes done, written up, as witnessed by an elder care attorney.
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Keep reading this web site. Lots of folks with great advice. I’m a caregiver for my husband with early dementia. I was the caregiver for my mother with cancer. Cancer was easier. You should get in touch with the American Cancer Society, they helped me a lot. Where your father is treated should have a social support system. Ask if there’s a social worker you can talk to. Google for Zoom groups that are specific to the type of cancer your father has. Zoom is super easy to use, I’m in several groups. The Zoom meetings lighten the load-especially when dealing with dementia. I try to keep the days and nights simple. Easy routine (so far). Not stressing about the changes. Get enough sleep and stay hydrated. Dementia caregiving is very, very isolating.
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