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She has called in hospice while he states he is feeling better and is continuing to improve.

I have had a very, very long day so forgive me if I sound curt.

I asked: what reasons did your father's wife give for not wanting to give him the medications?

And you answer (I have deduced what you meant to type) that the doctor - what doctor? - said - to whom, and when, and in what circumstances? - that once he got over this current issue - what current issue? - he had many good years to go.

It seems that there have been developments since this doctor said something optimistic to somebody about something. How current is your information?
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TOWinstead Mar 19, 2020
The doctor advised this less than a week ago. Dad’s discharge instructions were to take the medicines prescribed and to follow-up with him in 2-weeks. sooner if he started to feel worse. I’ve always had a good relationship with his wife, taken trips, just had them up to see my new house about 6-weeks ago. That isn’t to say I haven’t had some concerns about her over the last 30+ years. When she told his brother that she was stopping his medicines that caused the concern that he was receiving the best care. We don’t agree hospice is yet the answer but that he should be under medical care. After a couple of visits to see them we (sister) noticed that he had bad days when they weren’t seen by anyone for a few days but when hospice was there and sister was checking in daily he was much better. His wife began to make attempts to block my sister from seeing him although she is employed at the independent living facility that they live in.
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On the face of it, it seems a bit of a leap to go from the wife's saying she isn't going to give her husband prescribed medicine to concluding that she isn't mentally capable of giving him the best care.

What did she say about her reasons for not wanting to give him the meds? - and do you know enough about his conditions and treatment to assess whether or not she might be right?
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TOWinstead Mar 18, 2020
The doctor said they nice he got over this current issue he had many good years to go.
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Recourse, like what? What do you have in mind?

Your profile states that your father is 87 years old and has heart disease. When you say that he states he is 'feeling better and continuing to improve' what has happened recently for him to improve on?

What in your view would good care look like? You say, in addition, that you are concerned that the wife may not be making the best decisions for him. What's the difference in opinion?

Your best recourse is first of all to get a clear picture of your father's true state of health. For all sorts of reasons - that he may not want to worry you, that he is ill and not up to processing detailed medical information, that he'd rather not be told all the depressing details, that he doesn't much care who's looking after him as long as they make him comfortable and don't otherwise bother him - your father may not be your best source of information.

I hardly like to ask, but are you on reasonably good terms with his wife, usually?
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TOWinstead Mar 17, 2020
The concern comes from his wife saying she was not going to give him his medicine which immediately threw up a red flag as to her mental ability to our idea him the Best care,
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Why would you consider hospice as not being good care? Can you give more information please? Have you spoken to anyone from the hospice organization that he is using? Address any concerns about your dad with his nurses or social worker.

My brother received excellent care from hospice. The nurses were knowledgeable and compassionate. The social worker was terrific. There is clergy available for patients who desire spiritual comfort.
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TOWinstead Mar 17, 2020
I didn’t mean not to understand it be grateful for hospice. The concern is his wife decision to not give him his medicines Snd not inform my sister and me if this decision.
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Is your father capable of participating in hospice evaluation? They include the entire family usually. I would assume that your father's wife, of all people, has been made aware of his wishes? Have they done wills and provided for each other to take on the POA wishes of the spouse involved in needing care. Hospice IS good care, in fact the epitome of compassionate and gentle caring in the end stages of life.
You do not mention your father's wishes. You don't mention your father's condition. You don't mention if your MIL/Stepmother is POA for your father. I wish we knew more, but given what you have told us I think that you should trust Hospice to come in and make an evaluation. I very much hope you will support your MIL and thus be included in care of your Dad. Wishing you good luck in this difficult time.
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JoAnn29 Mar 15, 2020
He does say wife has POA in the header
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Hospice has a criteria. If they have evaluated and admitted him, they must feel he needs them. Medicare pays for it so its not costing Dad anything. And wife will get an aide and supplies. Hospice will discharge him if he continues to show improvement.

I really don't see how calling in Hospice means she isn't giving good care. And no, nothing you can do if she is POA short of getting guardianship. And if Dad is competent, that won't happen.
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