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Does the 90 yr old appear to have a relationship with the daughters? Have you gotten to know him? Perhaps he could call the daughters and ask to be given any updates?
Had you ever met the daughters before? 8 years is a long time.
I am sorry you are going through this. I’m sure your presence is a comfort to your boyfriend and hopefully to the dad.
Be careful of what you say to the staff as they could have you barred from the NH. There are privacy rules that the NH must follow.
If you were hit by a car today (or any of us for that matter) what would be found in your wallets as to who the authorities should contact? The NH has to follow whatever your state laws are.
The daughters are probably working. I’m glad your partner has you. Let us know how he’s doing. Take care.
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Reply to 97yroldmom
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The decision by the nursing home staff about who to give information to depends on a few things. If the patient has a health care power of attorney, the nursing home staff is allowed to give information to the person who is the agent for the health care POA. If the patient doesn't have a health care power of attorney, the nursing home staff probably will give information to the people who are listed as contacts in case of an emergency. It sounds as though this is what is happening in the situation you're in. If you think your boyfriend is being abused or mistreated, you can make your concerns known to someone at the nursing home or to an outside organization. Probably every state in the U.S. has at least one organization whose duty is to protect the rights of individuals in nursing homes and other long-term care facilities.

As a non-family member and without a legal document such as a health care POA, you probably have no legal right to receive information from the nursing home, despite your long, loving relationship with your boyfriend.
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Reply to Rosered6
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My friend got hit by a car he was unresposive his daughter became the spokes person when they moved him to a nursing home she was the one that admitted him her name was on a list for contact another daughter and the 90 year old father the daughters dont come the 90 year old father is the one who supports and advocates for him the most but the father can't know the care plan or they won't give him a meeting with the social worker. I'm just the girl friend so I don't have any rights but I'm the one caring for him the most. I have seen them give insulin without finger sticks lie to doctors in a white coat and drug him so he couldn't communicate
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Reply to Teeler
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worriedinCali Aug 13, 2019
the daughters as his next of kin, have more legal rights than you do. It matters not who “signs him in” to a nursing home.
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I have no idea what you are asking. What list? No one has rights over another person unless they are assigned rights by the person him or herself OR the court assigns guardianship of some kind. Please write us more completely what you are asking.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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Teeler Aug 13, 2019
My friend was admitted in a nursing home daughter signed him in but another daughter is on the list and a 90 year old father the daughters don't cone at all so the father is the one who advocates they have declared the son incompetent. They won't tell the father the care plan won't give him a meeting with the social worker and I'm just the girl friend of 8 years who don't have any say at all. But I'm the one caring for him the.most going thru this journey with him. I watched a nurse lie I watched a.nurse give insulin without finger sticks and drug him so he out cold what can I do
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Your question is not clear. Can you provide more details? What do you mean by "sign a person in nursing"? And what do you mean by "anybody on the list"?
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Reply to Rosered6
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Teeler Aug 13, 2019
Admission list or contact list
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