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Allegations are false. My husbands youngest sister wants complete control over their Mom and bullies all the siblings. Actually she thinks nothing of getting in anyones face and going off on them. Mom, 85, is in the early stages of dementia and loves all of us to come visit and do things for her. We have asked numerous times, and have yet to see, legal documentation of POA, which Sis claims to have. If those were Mom's wishes we are ok with it, just want to legally know. There have been ugly disagreements, which we do not discuss with Mom, although Sis doesn't hesitate blabbing to Mom her side of any arguement, trying to make us look bad. This upsets Mom, but Sis yells at all of us for upsetting Mom. As far as we know Mom is still able to make her own decisions. She is not a wealthy woman. If Mom requests us or a sibing to take her to do something, Sis will call the person or business where we have been and yell at them telling them she is POA, then abusively attack us. She accuses us of messing with Mom's finances even if there is no cost to doing something Mom has requested. Sis is the only one to have a debit card to Mom's checking account. She has recently sent the same accusatory certified, not legal, letter to all siblings badmouthig us and telling us what we can and cannot do for Mom and that "I am POA PERIOD,". We all considered the source and had a good laugh. In the letter she stated twice that she has reported my husband and me to Adult Services. This accusation is completely false. My question is, will Adult Services contact us? We suspect she is lying about the report. My husband and I both do jobs in which we have had background checks and fingerpriting done, we have never done anything to hurt or upset Mom. I almost say bring it on, but it upsets me that someone would tell lies about us to others. We want to work together for the health, safety and welfare of Mom, but constantly recieve resistance from the younger Sis. Thanks for any suggestions. Feels good just to vent and know we are not alone. Thanks for reading.

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Or a flat out liar that wants control badly!
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If your sister-in-law really did have POA I would think that, according to your description of her, she would wave the POA in your face while doing a told-you-so dance. That she refuses to show it to you.....methinks she is a phony.
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If one is reported to APS, the one reported will be investigated & HELPED.
APS is another helping hand in all of this & they do help.
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And, yes APS is required to make contact with the parties within 72 hours in my area.
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Been there, done that. I have been taking care of my Mom with Alzheimer's for three years now. Sisters decided I must be taking money from Mom since I continue to do this. They reported me to APS, all completely false allegations. They closed the case very quickly with only the statement that I did not have access to Mom's funds. I think sissies used it as a scare tactic so they could relieve their guilt by putting mom in a facility. Oh, and one of those sissies was Mom's POA. So, she darn well knew, and if she didn't, she should have known what was going on with Mom's funds!

A few months later, I decided sis must have something to hide, what she was doing just did not make sense. So, yes I reported her to APS. Now banks will not provide information to APS without a court order, but banks will often run their own investigation to determine what has happened with the accounts. Well, imagine my surprise one day when trying to pay a copay for Mom's PT that her account had been frozen. I do not know the answer for sure, but I have a bunch Sissie dearest took Mom to her financial institutions to have her name added to Mom's accounts. They call that undue influence even if done by the POA and is a crime. In this case it could be grand larceny. She will get her due.

I also suggest that you request APS to investigate sis. Also, if Mom is competent she can change her POA, if there even is one, any time she wants. In fact, you need to get these documents in place to protect her. And Mom does not need to tell sis that she has changed POA, nor do you. The problem I see is if sis has changed ownerships on Mom's accounts and made herself coowner. That is where APS comes into play.

There are two types of POA's. One is "standing" the other "springing". Springing requires the person to be incapacitated before the POAcan do anything. If it is standing, then POA can act at any time. This is the case for both medical and financial POA's.

Good luck.
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Thank you all so much, I am so glad to have found this site. I actually have had it saved for quite awhile and all of a sudden today it was in plain site, a sign to me to ask others. Vstefans you are so right on with your response, thank you.
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Not all calls to APS are investigated. They are screened to determine whether they should followed up on. If they are screened out you won't know about it. If it's screened in the allegations will be investigated and the alleged perpetrator and actions discussed.
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Red flags are flying. Sis is hiding something and fending you all off with a lot of phony hostility. She possibly does not even have POA and whether she does or doesn't, she could very well be siphoning off as much of Mom's funds for her own use as possible. If she can successfully get all of you out of her hair she can have free rein to do whatever she wants. Calling in phony reports is a fear tactic too - APS should talk to you as well as to Mom, and the reports should be unfounded. You might have reason to call APS to investigate her, though I would bet she can make everything look OK and Mom would be unaware of anythign nefarious going on behind her back.

I think it is time to get an elder law attorney and get some accounting of what;'s gong on - you have some right to see the actual documents, and to find out under what conditions a POA can be removed (they are required to act in the best interest of the person they are POA for). Sorry this is happening to your family - but it won't be the first sad story like this we've heard on here. Picking the wrong caregiver or POA can be a disaster.
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Thank you all for responding. I write down my thoughts and did so in response to the false accusations in the "certified letter", I didn't send it. It makes me feel better just to "vent" while it's fresh in my mind and to have as reference if needed. She goes off on us in text messages when she thinks we are doing something behind her back with Mom, those are kept too. Some people can be so disfunctional and jealous. We are all in our 50's and 60's, she has nothing to show for her life, the rest of us do. She is vindictive and nasty person, I refuse to stoop to her level. Again thanks for responding.
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SuzyandRich, if the sister has a hard copy of a Power of Attorney [financial POA? or Medical POA?], I would look to see who wrote it up, and everyone go to the attorney and have him/her explain to the sister what that POA actually means.... sounds like sis mistakenly thinks she has total control over everything.
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I need to modify what I wrote by adding that a POA does have control IF the person is incompetent. They then can direct what the grantor does. But if someone is competent, they are still free to conduct their own affairs as they see fit, with the POA keeping a watch to make sure expenditures are normal.
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If your mother is still in the early stage of dementia, I wouldn't pursue guardianship. It can be an expensive and worrisome procedure that will cause a lot of hard feelings. Your mother is still competent, so just ask her if she has set up POAs. If she hasn't, she definitely needs to. More than one family member can have POA. POAs for finance do not give people control over anyone, it just allows them to act as a agent to carry out the person's wishes. Their normal role is to take care of the banking and bill paying. The POA can take steps to keep a person from misusing their funds, but shouldn't have any say in normal use of funds.

It sounds like your sister wants to be a micromanaging controller of your mother. If she says she is going to report you for going for ice cream or shopping with your mother, tell her go ahead... unless a lot is going to be spent on someone other than your mother. Your sister would look pretty silly complaining about you taking Mom to get a sundae and to buy a new pair of shoes. If you're doing right, don't worry. And talk to your mother about POAs for finance and healthcare.
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Your sister is screwy. Tell your sister her POA does not prohibit mom from acting on her own behalf. Period.

I personally would WELCOME being contacted by Senior Protective Services in order to start an investigation on HER. You can bet she didn't report you though.

If you have questions about how your mom's finances are being handled, if you think she may be confiscating them or putting her name on all of your mom's accounts, or putting the accounts in trust with her as the beneficiary thereby bypassing your mom's will? I would do exactly what Pam suggests and pursue guardianship. Immediately.

Start documenting everything that's gone on to the best of your recollection. Talk to an elder law attorney.
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Your sister is burned out and erratic. You might consider pursuing Guardianship. POA would be revealed in the court proceedings. You can also express your concerns to APS about Sis being unstable. A family meeting would be helpful, if possible. Get everyone on the same page.
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