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This is why some people scrimp and save their whole lives so they can afford what they need in old age.

Soooo.....tap into savings. Sell the car. Sell the home. That's what people do.

And you should NOT pay toward upkeep of your parent in a facility. Use the parents' assets first. You need to be saving for your own care when you need it. Right now is a good time to invest because there are plenty of places where you can get 5% interest.
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CalmTom Jul 13, 2023
The advice about using the parents' assets first is good advice. If your parents have more than enough assets to cover for the MCF until their passing, your inheritance tax will be smaller. If they don't have enough assets to cover the MCF until they pass away, you'll be able to apply for aid after the spend down is complete.
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You seek a facility that has memory care which will take Medicaid. We had to do this for my BIL who is right now in a NH with memory care unit. In Sept 2022 he went into a NH with memory care and since I was his representative payee for social security I had to get him onto Medicaid.

I had to spend down my BIL finances to get him onto Medicaid. When Medicaid steps in they figure out what you pay for the NH. For my BIL it was his social security minus $50 and all of his pension. I got paperwork stating from Medicaid this is what you have to pay for the nursing home. The nursing home where my BIL charges $260 a day in a months time that ranges from $7800 to $8060 so when Medicaid says to pay this amount the difference is what Medicaid pays the nursing home.

And I would let the nursing home be their representative payee for all. Less stress on you. Believe me in this because if there is family they can screw with you and in my case they did. If I would have known they would do that to me I would have signed everything over to the nursing home in Sept.

Prayers
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Theo951 Jul 19, 2023
I would never allow a nursing home or stranger to be representative payee for a relative. This invites trouble of a different sort.
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I would speak to the memory care. Many do not accept anything but private pay. Sometimes there needs to be nursing home placement instead.

Speak with the administration at the facility. Each one is privately run and managed. They can answer for their facility.
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Private pay. If this is a single parent, 4500 goes way over what some States have as an income cap for Medicaid. My State, the last I looked, is just over $2300. To get help with Medicaid, the xtra would need to be put into a Qualifying Income Trust/Miller Trust and not all States allow it.
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Private Pay, that is what we do for both my mother in AL & stepmother in MC. We sold both of their homes and use that money to pay for whatever they do not receive from SS & pensions.
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Seek advice of a social worker for a Medicaid facility if private pay does not cover the cost of care.
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If there are no other assets to liquidate, and her income isn't enough to cover the cost of a desired facility, see if the state has a Medicaid waiver program to help cover the costs. If not, and if parent's needs are too much for family to handle, then you need to start planning to have her placed in a facility that takes LTC Medicaid. Although this is not easy, it can be done. You can try to do it yourself, or with the help of an attorney (paid by mom), or if you find that too difficult, get the help of a social worker. Basically if mom is in an unsafe situation, the state will take action and place her in a safe environment.
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Spend down what she has. Set up a funeral trust from her assets and income. Since she is over the income for Medicaid, seek the advice of an elder law attorney to set up a personal needs trust before applying
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You need to seek the advice of an elder law attorney as your mother has a complicated situation where she has too much income to qualify for Medicaid and too little income to qualify for MC.
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Seek direction from an Elder Law Attorney
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