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I agree with BarbBrooklyn. A medicaid application when there is a Community Spouse is not a do-it-yourself project. Perhaps you can find help at the Area Agency on Aging. Or consult an attorney specializing in Elder Law.

For private pay situations, the nursing home cares about getting paid every month. They don't care about what other resources you have.
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If private pay it doesn't matter. If applying for Medicaid then monies will be split between you living you money to pay bills and live. In my GFs instance parents had 60k in the bank. Mom was able to stay in her house and had a car. Not sure how SS and pensions were split but the 60k was split evenly. Dad had to spend down his half to 2k or under then Medicaid took over.

My suggestion is to first talk to Medicaid if seems too overwhelming then invest into a Medicaid lawyer.
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Roger, Nursing Homes do not take homes.

If you apply for Medicaid for the spouse who requires NH care, the spouse at home has the ability to stay in the home as long as they are able. Additionally, if the " community spouse" ( the one not in the NH ) is allowed sufficient resources, even from the spouses income, so that they are not impoverished.

You should see an Eldercare Attorney to help you apply. A Medicaid application when there is a Community Spouse involved is NOT a do it yourself project.
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