If I start dressing and undressing my mother, will this make her less self sufficient and cause her to go downhill more rapidly?

It might be easier for you to dress her yourself, but it may make her feel a loss of independence. It's about her dignity. Allow her to do as much as she can, which you may be doing already, then offer your help. Sure it's frustrating, what isn't in dementia care. If one's patience aren't tested in caring for a dementia LO, you're really not caring for them at all. You've posted under AD, so for her it's not remembering how to dress. She knows she should remember but can't. Dressing is a complicated activity. If she has Parkinson's or LBD, it may be more of a physical problem than a cognitive one. In either case, make sure her clothes are appropriate for her level of need, no buttons, elastic waste bands, slip on shoes instead of laced shoes or velcro fastened shoes, etc. A lose fitting jump suit might work well. Google “dementia clothing” for some examples.

I lack patience so I did what was easier and that was to dress my Mom. Like you I had to tell her what to do but let her get up in the middle of the night she could dress herself with no problem. Dementia is such a weird desease. I used to let her bathe herself thinking it was better for her but I had to tell her what do do. Daughter, RN, came over to bathe her one day and did it for her. I made the statement I thought it was better she did for herself, my daughter says its easier just to do it. No time in a NH to let them do it themselves.

Jonesie
Does your mom want your help? Does she need to dress in a hurry? Each person is different. My DH Aunt felt rushed by me when I tried to help sometimes. Other times she felt she could do everything but needed help with the buttons. After awhile she dispensed with wearing shoes and just decided on socks. Then she started wearing the same clothes to bed that she had on during the day and saw no reason to change her clothes at all. Then came a need for depends. The changes keep coming. She is now in pjs at night and sometimes during the day. She has also stopped buttoning her shirts and leaves them open over a tee shirt. . This is new behavior of maybe a week. She lives at home and mostly deals with caregivers so it’s really no big deal. She’s changed each day and gets a shower most days.
Try to avoid the stress. If mom wants to change herself but needs company to keep on track, maybe get a cup of coffee and chat with her while she’s dressing and then help with the bits she struggles with.
My mom had a weak arm. In occupational therapy she learned a few tricks that were helpful to her, like threading her depends and slacks on both legs and then pulling them up together. She had numb fingertips so she wore pullover tee shirts to avoid the buttons. Or she left the shirt buttoned and pulled it over her head. She never asked for help with dressing or seemed to need it. Her frustration was deciding what to wear when going out. We solved that by having a few Go To outfits for doctor visits with an eye to easy removal in the doctors office. So anything you can do to lessen the frustration for you and her is the best thing to do but I do understand not wanting her to grow dependent too soon. Again the best course is the one that works for the both of you and creates the less fuss. As her disease progresses, she will need more help and your expectations will adjust.
I do think it’s good to have a routine yet be flexible.

Seems like you’re both frustrated, you with the repeat explanations and mom with the confusion on what to do. Sadly, she’s losing ability and nothing you do or don’t do will make it more rapid. I hope you’ll just do it with as much kindness and patience as you can muster. And know if and when her care gets to be too much, it’s okay to have others step in. I’m sure your mother knows your love

I don’t know but others will help. My mom needed help in dressing. She had Parkinson’s disease with mobility issues. She did develop slight dementia at the end of her life. I dressed mom when she could no longer do it for herself.

I am so sorry that your mom is struggling. It’s hard watching a parent decline. It becomes a huge responsibility for children that are caregivers. My heart goes out to you. I was mom’s caregiver for many years.