Follow
Share

I want to find a bigger home, so I can move my parent's in with me.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
You can move your dad anytime that you want, however if he's happy once he's settled I'd think twice about it.

Nursing homes vary so much by area that it's hard to say what is best. Some are excellent and residents get great care plus a lot of extras. Others are not very good and I've heard of far too many that should be shut down.

You'll have to decide - with your dad's input if he's able - what is best in your community. But your core question about whether or not you can move him is yes, unless he is cognitively aware and doesn't want to move.

I hope that this works well for you.
Carol
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I'll never forget a comment from a woman forty-five years ago regarding her family: "One mother can take care of seven children, but seven children cannot take care of one mother."
Helpful Answer (10)
Report

I would advise anyone who is thinking of moving a parent in with them to first spend an extended period of time with them, many parents are good at hiding it or the kids are in denial about how much care is really needed. I was just talking to my sis about someone who visited their parents often, at least every week or more, and did not realize just how deeply into dementia the dad was until mom spent the day away.
There are also the bathing and toileting issues that constantly come up on the forum, you need to be fully aware of what the job entails before you sign on.
Helpful Answer (10)
Report

Sure, you can pull him out, move him to other facilities etc. you can probably sign up for a short stay. You want to move your parents in with you. Make sure you understand what you're getting into with careing at home. Depending on their health and needs this can be very difficult for most people.
Helpful Answer (7)
Report

I have to agree with cwillie. I brought my mother to live with us after my father died 7yrs. ago. I lived 5hrs from her and could only get up to see her on the weekends. She was in the early stages of AL (or so I thought) but she seemed to be doing O.K. with the brief time I was able to spend with her. My brother, who lived only a mile away came to check on her periodically. Still I didn't want her to be alone and so our family brought her to live with us. WOW! She was much worse than I had realized and my situation quickly became a full-time caregiver at the expense of my healthy and my family sadly. I'm not saying you are making a mistake and I do not regret the years I was able to help and be with my mother at all. I was so happy to be there for her. But when the time came where mine and my husband's health were failing to a dangerous level due to the stress, and other complications forced us to have to place my mother somewhere, it was the most heart-wrenching thing I have ever had to go through. I'm still not thru it. My mother however, is now thriving in her new home. She loves the people there and they are giving her the quality care that I know realize I was not able to give. It was the best move for us and especially for my mother in our case. But what an emotional rollercoaster. Before you bring your parents to live with you, do your homework! Love for our parents can not be the only factor to consider when you are making such a big and challenging change in your life. Caregiving can be the most rewarding and yet the most difficult thing you will ever have to face, and what you think you can do is not always what you are truly able to accomplish.
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

I have been a caregiver for my mom for almost two years. She has failing health but not dementia per se. She does have some mild cognitive impairment. I felt the same way as you. My parents took care of me so now I can care for her( my dad has passed away.) it is way more stressful than you think! Your time is no longer yours. You need to bring caregivers in. I didn't realize how much until my mom got sick in August and was so weak I needed to lift her to get her on the commode or into bed. I became physically and emotionally exhausted. Fortunately I had checked out a nursing home that offered respite services. I had placed her there for a week last July and she liked the place. I was able to get her in later when I could no longer care for her. She did improve and I got the rest I needed. I made the heart wrenching decision to place her there long term. I know they can offer her more than I can give. Fortunately it a beautiful place and the care is wonderful. Look around and rally research nursing homes before you need their services. There are really good ones out there.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

You shouldn't have any problem as long as you let staff know if you're taking him out for the day. However, if you're taking him out for good you'll definitely want to speak with everyone who's taking care of him at the facility. You'll definitely want to listen to any warnings that are shared with you as the dementia worsens and take any precautions necessary. You may actually find that being a caregiver can become too much at some point and you may actually want to return your loved one to that home. You may want to know that caregivers do burn out sometime, so be prepared to turn for help. The best help you can get it is someone experienced in this area, especially a professional
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

READ and READ again Make sure you understand what you're getting into with careing at home. Depending on their health and needs this IS very difficult for most people.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Certainly you can take him back out. However there is a more practical question here, that is should you take him back out? I have worked in this field for many many years. I can tell you my advice to family when they began this journey is; look at the idea of moving as a one shoot deal. Every time we have the elderly, especially those with dementia they lose more cognitive ability. A short trip from a hospital to a placement will get you a month of let's wait and see how this goes for a month, then we can tell you how much help they need. It is not insignificant change to the health and well-being for dementia care to create a decline in the disease; just to many new things.
I also think moving a person in with family members is difficult on the family unit. The situation provides no quality time with your spouse or significant other and if there are kids involved their schooling maybe interrupted.
Think this through carefully, talk to people who have been there and step back and look at all the ramifications to this situation. Whatever decision you make go into it with eyes wide open.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

My Mom was really good at sugar coating everything. My Dad was way more challenged than I realized. Dementia is cruel along with all the other health issues. I'm now strugling with his death. Mom has broken her same leg twice. So rehab in NH ended, she was still wheelchair bound but met all goals set by PT folks. What? I ask how can that be? So I moved her to AL when 100th Medicare day came & she wasn't better & continue to hire 24/7 sitters, got home health care PT/OT, HOMEDIC so she has nurse practioner with access to MD if illness occurs. Her mind has faded & she struggles from wheelchair to walker to get where she's going & thinks she can take care of herself & a 2000 sq ft house..As you say, I had a life but now I'm trying to regain some of it back. So I now struggle to weigh facts & get myself stronger & am trying to make that hard decision to leave her in AL before I lose everything. Very hard..she's my MoM, but it is harder than taking care of my babies. She is an angry person from dementia, complains over & over again about same stuff over & over. Redirect positive attitude to no avail..it is very sad.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

See All Answers
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.