Get her placed in a nursing home or an AL if she can afford it. If she lands in a hospital, especially rehab, tell them you can no longer care for her. That she needs to be placed. Allow the State to take over.
Was the doctor a Neurologist, if not, try to take her to a neurologist. He can run tests to determine if Mom has a Dementia.
There is no reason for you to continue to be abused by your parents. Get them out of your house as soon as possible. If they don't have resources, get them on medicaid and in to a nursing facility with medicaid beds. Then at least you can caregive from a distance making sure their needs are met.
If that's too much time have the state appoint guardians of your parents and have the state provide for them.
I'm not one to advocate dumping parents onto the state, however, I have had an eye-opening education on this site on the number of children/caregivers caring for the parents that abused them as children and continue to the current day.
I've found my formative years were a walk in the park when reading some of the posts here - and our family was definitely dysfunctional for sure.
I try to remember all the caregivers in my prayers - but especially for those of you who are abused and unappreciated. For your own mental and spiritual health learn to forgive your parents - forgiveness is for you and not your parents - forgiveness doesn't say that what your parents did in any way was OK. I will NOT say forgive and forget - I haven't figured how to forget - and maybe we're not meant to. What forgiveness does is to purge the poison of anger - don't be surprised if the anger doesn't magically disappear - I like to say forgive often - its a process. Also if needed seek counseling. Take care of you, you are worth taking care of. The best revenge is to live a healthy life of joy.
Well perhaps you weren't smart back then, but you can be smart now, by distancing yourself from those who abused you. Just because they are the people that brought you into this world, does not mean that you owe them one thing. The only person you owe anything to is yourself, and that is to live your best life, and not pass on the dysfunction that you had to endure. So get them out of your house ASAP,(if they're still there, as I'm a little confused by what you've written) and get them placed in the appropriate facility where they will have professionals care for them. And I can promise you, that your moms abuse won't fly with them. Don't waste any more time looking back, as we can only live our lives forward. Wishing you healing and peace, and mostly joy. God bless you.
According to your profile, "I am caring for Maria, who is 94 years old, living in my home with alzheimer's / dementia, arthritis, broken hip, hearing loss, incontinence, and mobility problems."
My question is, why is your parent(s) living in your home if you've been the subject of their 'belting' and belittling all of your life? Sounds like it's time for placement for them and a new life for YOU.
When I was a kid, I'd often ask for a beating from my mother b/c the emotional abuse would go on and on and ON forever, whereas a beating would be over and done with in X amount of time. I made it a point to move OUT of her home at a young age & make the decision to NEVER have my folks move in with me in their old age, or for me to move in with them. Once was more than enough.
I had been taking care of them at my house until 5 months ago. My daughter took a leave from teaching due to Covid, I was teaching online, helping with bills but she will eventually go back to teach Im August.
I feel the belting lasts for a period of time; the other lasts forever. It’s been a tough day-took mom to Dr for evaluation, hoping her behavior is due to Dementia, When the doctor said it’s not dementia; she’s just mean.., but just to you.
Was the doctor a Neurologist, if not, try to take her to a neurologist. He can run tests to determine if Mom has a Dementia.
If that's too much time have the state appoint guardians of your parents and have the state provide for them.
I'm not one to advocate dumping parents onto the state, however, I have had an eye-opening education on this site on the number of children/caregivers caring for the parents that abused them as children and continue to the current day.
I've found my formative years were a walk in the park when reading some of the posts here - and our family was definitely dysfunctional for sure.
I try to remember all the caregivers in my prayers - but especially for those of you who are abused and unappreciated. For your own mental and spiritual health learn to forgive your parents - forgiveness is for you and not your parents - forgiveness doesn't say that what your parents did in any way was OK. I will NOT say forgive and forget - I haven't figured how to forget - and maybe we're not meant to. What forgiveness does is to purge the poison of anger - don't be surprised if the anger doesn't magically disappear - I like to say forgive often - its a process. Also if needed seek counseling. Take care of you, you are worth taking care of. The best revenge is to live a healthy life of joy.
So get them out of your house ASAP,(if they're still there, as I'm a little confused by what you've written) and get them placed in the appropriate facility where they will have professionals care for them. And I can promise you, that your moms abuse won't fly with them.
Don't waste any more time looking back, as we can only live our lives forward. Wishing you healing and peace, and mostly joy. God bless you.
My question is, why is your parent(s) living in your home if you've been the subject of their 'belting' and belittling all of your life? Sounds like it's time for placement for them and a new life for YOU.
When I was a kid, I'd often ask for a beating from my mother b/c the emotional abuse would go on and on and ON forever, whereas a beating would be over and done with in X amount of time. I made it a point to move OUT of her home at a young age & make the decision to NEVER have my folks move in with me in their old age, or for me to move in with them. Once was more than enough.
How did you wind up in this predicament?
When the doctor said it’s not dementia; she’s just mean.., but just to you.