My 90 yr old mother is permanently moving in with my husband and I. Her total care (cooking, cleaning, dr appointments, weekly hair dresser, personal hygiene assistance, emotional support etc...) will now be our responsibility. My husband and I purchased our home last year knowing this day would soon be here. Mom has private bath, bedroom and and another large bedroom that was converted to her "sitting room" which of course has a TV. We are retired and easily afford to to care for my mom. Our life will drastically change from the "retired life" we were enjoying. My sisters seem fine with using mom's personal funds to compensate us for food and going out expenses but when it comes to the other aspects of caring for mom they think that is where compensation stops. Mom's income is roughly $75,000/yr with $70,000+ in savings and a $350,000 house soon to be sold. We are taking my mom in to care for her because we truly believe we will take the best care of her 24/7 (I sleep with a baby monitor in my bedroom so I can hear if she is having discomfort at night due to periferal neuropathy). If my mother was destitute we would still take care of her but because she can contribute more than just for food I believe she should. If I were ever in her situation I would want to generously reimburse my son if he took care of me. My sisters have questioned are you looking at this as a business and want to make money on this? My question-should a family caregiver be paid if the recipient can easily afford it because the funds are available. If yes, then I'm trying to come up with a reasonable dollar amount but cannot find anything on line to assist in costs. If anyone has input please advise.
As far as compensation..I have had my dad in my home for just a few months until he moved into AL, and I can tell you that 'freelance' caregivers are usually getting around $25/hr. Agencies charge the same but those people are usually taking a cut off their hires.
I guess if it were me, I would ask my sisters..what else would her money be used for at this point except her care? I would have to counter their questioning with "are you afraid of spending down mom's money before she dies and you inherit it?"
Hopefully if you are fully taking on your mom, you also have legal control over her estate. In which case, you can pay yourself without your sisters' approval. Just keep it all well documented. best wishes
And thought must be given to how much care you are willing to give and where to draw the line (bathing? toileting? incontinence? loss of mobility?) and for how long, it's becoming much more common for people to live into their late 90's and beyond.
You are retired, why not enjoy your life and not be saddled down 24/7. Read around this site about taking care of the aged in one's home, there is so much more involved than just having her move in.
AL has much to offer her, 24/7 care, being with people her own age who she can relate to and activities galore. We just placed my 94 yo mother, she loves it, especially being with people her own age.
Might want to rethink this. Good Luck!