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Had the same issue when my mom became incontinent. She was too embarrassed and she lived with my dad and brother and did not want to talk about bathroom stuff with them. She would wear pads but leak through and then quickly run out of clothes because she didn’t have mobility to do laundry. First I made sure to have a girls trip to the bathroom every two hours if we went somewhere. One day we went to the movies and she went all over the seat. I went out that night and got her depends. I asked her to try them at night or when we go out and said I know it stinks but it’s better than the alternative. She started wearing them. It helped that we called them pads or briefs and not diapers. Next time I was home she was wearing them regularly and could even talk about it in front of my brother.
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Try taking her every two hours and be with her. Toileting was the worst for me.
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What does she say when she sees you cleaning it and her up after these accidents? Does she deny it or blame it on someone else? Is she mobile enough to clean her own mess up? It’s been suggested that you remove all her underwear from her drawer and replace it with incontinence briefs. Put waterproof pads where she sits and on her bed.

Keep in mind that none of us want to admit we are soiling ourselves and need help. It’s embarrassing and hits us right in the face with the fact that we’re getting old and infirm. However none of us caregivers want to be cleaning up piddles and poo all day either.
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