Follow
Share

It's weird.. I just seem to have dropped off the planet. I don't care about seeing anyone or going anywhere... yet I feel totally deprived of life. I sure hope this passes soon! Anyone else familiar with this? I'm confused by it. I have been caring for my mother for just over a year now and it's 24/7, 365 days a year. She's an angel and easy to care for (thank God!) but I just seem to have lost track of my own life along the way. Even though it's not too demanding on me, and she's not a difficult person, I still feel that I need a little more of my own life somewhere in the midst of it all but I don't have a clue how to get back into the land of the living. I can't leave her alone long enough to do much of anything.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
SSinAZ, Your post could have been written by me. I have been caring for my bedridden Mom for a year and a half. At first I felt so depressed and and would just sit when I did get a little free time. I then forced myself to start doing little things I used to enjoy like reading, listening to music, looking at decorating magazines. I bought a new chair for my computer table, and planted some pots of flowers for the patio and fixed that up for relaxing. Bought some really nice lavender shower gel. I keep my hair appointments, and can get out for a quick lunch each week. I take walks weather permitting. In short, I started with small things that make me happy and found that the small enjoyments add up.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Sometimes you have to schedule your day Just as you would if you're working. If helps if you have even 1/2 hour or so a few times throughout the day to rejuvenate, whether it's listening to music, doing some exercises, looking at magazines, drawing, sewing, knitting, crocheting....just something you really enjoy doing.

I've been where you are now, and had to motivate myself by scheduling my day and including something I really loved doing. I did that today, and didn't want to stop and go back to the work activities. I just got totally caught up in something that was so relaxing and inspirational.

So, what did you do before? Did you read? Garden? Walk, hike? Set aside some time to do that, make it mandatory and it will, like Calgon, "take you away!"
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

SSinAZ, I know how you feel. I do things like go out walking or to the gym at the senior center. But really, those things start to be so routine that they don't fill the need anymore. What I think would really help is to have a friend or two to go out to eat or to a movie. I know people, but haven't formed any real friendships since I've been in town. It is what I miss.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

A change of scenery, exercise class, going to the hair salon, or seeing a good film in the theater, all lift my spirits when I'm feeling blue. It is important to get some time to yourself to avoid feelings of resentment. I hope this helps.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Ss, I do t know your financial situation but I know exactly how you feel. I. Was taking care of 2 elderly parents at the same time. What I did was, I bought a jacuzzi. When my mom and dad were tucked away asleep even for a half hour, I jump in. Even if it's 11pm. It put my head in another place and yet I was still home. I turned my back yard into heaven on earth doing that and planting beautiful plants, I put up a bird feeder (it's like having visitors). It's my place to go alone at night or Sharing the time outside with my mom. It is hard to find your life in these situations, but if you think hard about what makes you smile you can create your own world for now. I promise it won't feel like this forever. Paint a picture in your head and then make it real. Hope this helped a little.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

I'm fortunate enough to have a block of 6 hours per week to get out of the house. At first I thought I didn't really need so much time, that there were others who needed services much more than me. Now I don't know how I would manage without it! I can schedule appointments, travel out of town for shopping or recreation, even get together with friends occasionally. I also try to get outside most days for some kind of exercise, just a walk around the block or to the neighbourhood store or doing a little yard work. You really have to find a way to do something outside of caregiving.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

I get like that when I'm cooped up in the house too long, for any reason. After awhile, it just doesn't seem important enough to go anywhere. It's called apathy. Unfortunately, it doesn't always 'just pass'. You have to sort of treat it, like you would any other unwanted condition.

Do you have anyone that can sit with your mom so that you can leave the house and do something fun for yourself? If not, can you invite friends over for coffee? As much as I think it would be better for you to be able to leave the house, the distraction of visitors is worth it's weight in gold, too.

It sounds like you have a wonderful relationship with your Mom, you are very blessed. I am sure she would want you to have time to do things as much as you need to have time to do things...for you.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.