My ex mi, just died. Her youngest son J - a man of about 50 - has been being given money by his mum for years to the extent that she hardly had her own needs met. He is on disability, antidepressants and probably street drugs (crack pipes found), He collapsed when she died, was sent to ER, but recovered enough to collect her belongings from the hospital. Her other son, my ex, meanwhile stepped in to start making arrangements for cremation etc. However he needs ID that is in her wallet which #2 son has. There are lots of bad feelings between the two sons, so they cannot talk and nor can the POA as #2 son has alienated her. He has also made a wild accusation against me (he is pretty paranoid) but it seems that I am on the best terms of the three of us. Ex does not want any of whatever money is left nor any of the belongings except copies of any photos which have also been requested by other family members. After the divorce I remained friends with my ex mil for years and years which is the reason I am involved. We ( ex, POA and myself) only want to see her given a decent burial and we are willing to help ex bil with what needs to be done. No executor was named so it is basically up to family to look after things. Ex will get the death certificates so they can be sent to whoever needs them - pension people and so on, I will offer help from sig other and I to #2 son to move her belongings from the ALF to wherever he likes. Approaching #2 son to get the ID is the hard part. Any suggestions?