I thank GOD for this site too. I have calmed down considerably since my first post.truely not much has changed. But I have so many caring people with excellent advice. And who can relate to me and me them . I pour my heart out hence I cannot with family and friends. Thank you.all.
Zoie2010 do you live with your dad in the same apartment, or is he on his own but in the same building with you? If you're living in different apartments, I would just limit the time you spend with him. If he wants to sit by himself, so be it. If you limit your time to what you absolutely have to do for him, it might be easier for you. At some point, he'll really need your help and you can step in then. Don't burn yourself out before that time. I know it's hard...our parents can be so stubborn some times!
My mom didn't want anyone coming in to give her medicines. I talked and talked until I was blue in the face. Well she forgot to take her blood thinning meds for three days (despite assuring me every day she was taking them) and had a major leg issue as a result. So at that point, I put my foot down and got her help. And she was fine. But it took a major event and a trip to the ER and surgeon. And we're both still paying the price for her stubbornness with her bum leg. But that's life with an elderly parent. Hugs to you!
Zoie2010, I wonder if you father is from the same generation as my parents.... my parents don't want anyone to help them, and when it comes to money I bet my Dad still has the first dollar he ever got. But I believe that comes from growing up in the Great Depression.
Just remember, your Dad is making his own choices, thus he has to bear the responsibly of those choices. If he is bored at home, so be it, you offered him a chance to go to the senior center. My parents complain about boredom, but hey they made their choice to continue living in their single family home in a neighborhood where they are 30 years older than most of their neighbors... [sigh]. I probably will be moving to Ashby Ponds in Ashburn before my parents do :P
He lives in your house? Do you have POA? If so, hire some in home help with his money and tell him they are helping YOU!! We tell Dad his CG is our housekeeper.. LOL Mom pays her, and it works well for us, he always wants to help us..She just kinda hangs out and takes him for walks or the folks to Dr apts.. frees Mom and both up a bit. She would do alot more , but Mom still likes to clean and do laundry and cook. I am an only child also.. I feel for you!
No I don't have family support. I am here alone.. Family in different states and how would I go about getting help from them. My dad was diagnosed with dementia and parkinsonism. He has heart issues but is doing ok with that.. I live in a house where he has his own apartment.
I have talked to drs, nurses, and etc. He right now is getting home health in. My relationship with dad is not the best.. Growing up he treated me with disrespect and one thing my mother said to me bless her heart who has passed on said If anything happens to me I feel sorry for you. I now know what she is talking about. I am burned out. I take him to the drs every month.. I am doing everything. I talk to the drs and there is one that seems to be helping me.. Although all the drs make suggestions as to put him in a day care.. My mom did everything for him even when he young and vibrant. Today I was told something is going to have to happen in order for something to take place. Drs suggest social worker and a day care facility but having him pay for it is like pulling teeth.. He wont listen.. I tell him that there are people his age and he would love it.. There will be a time when I will probably have to place him but right now he is at the point where he can take his meds on his own.. He just lost the ability to drive. So I can understand that. He wont pay for help.. I am beside myself. I have gone to seek help in the needed areas. I went to get information on a day care for him and he was yelling and screaming he didn't want to go and all I did was get information while he was in car. I am trying other avenues as well. I thank god for this site and it is helping me.. Thank you for all those that responded it surely does help.
Zoie2010, I read your profile, maybe it is time to look for a continuing care facility for your father... there are a lot of really nice facilities between Round Hill and the Sterling area, or further out in Warrenton. We are so lucky to live in this area of northern Virginia with all the excellent elder care doctors and facilities. Of course, the major hurdle would be for your Dad to accept this idea.
I am also an only child, and my parents also still live in their own home alone. Knock on wood, they are still able to get around but I know that won't last forever.
I am exhausted just worrying about them. Even getting them their groceries can be a major chore because there are items my Mom want me to go inside the store to get instead of ordering them on-line through the Giant's Peapod curbside or home delivery service. I believe the closest Giant store to you is in Purcellville. That Peapod service has been a life saver for me as I don't always have the time to just grocery shop.
You can call a nursing agency without an order from a Dr. Nursing agencies provide caregivers for elderly and/or disabled people. Some agencies accept Medicare, some do not.
Do you have any family support?
Do you live with your dad? Does he have any chronic illnesses?
Can you give us a little more detail so that we can offer more detailed responses?
My mom didn't want anyone coming in to give her medicines. I talked and talked until I was blue in the face. Well she forgot to take her blood thinning meds for three days (despite assuring me every day she was taking them) and had a major leg issue as a result. So at that point, I put my foot down and got her help. And she was fine. But it took a major event and a trip to the ER and surgeon. And we're both still paying the price for her stubbornness with her bum leg. But that's life with an elderly parent. Hugs to you!
Just remember, your Dad is making his own choices, thus he has to bear the responsibly of those choices. If he is bored at home, so be it, you offered him a chance to go to the senior center. My parents complain about boredom, but hey they made their choice to continue living in their single family home in a neighborhood where they are 30 years older than most of their neighbors... [sigh]. I probably will be moving to Ashby Ponds in Ashburn before my parents do :P
I am also an only child, and my parents also still live in their own home alone. Knock on wood, they are still able to get around but I know that won't last forever.
I am exhausted just worrying about them. Even getting them their groceries can be a major chore because there are items my Mom want me to go inside the store to get instead of ordering them on-line through the Giant's Peapod curbside or home delivery service. I believe the closest Giant store to you is in Purcellville. That Peapod service has been a life saver for me as I don't always have the time to just grocery shop.
Do you have any family support?
Do you live with your dad? Does he have any chronic illnesses?
Can you give us a little more detail so that we can offer more detailed responses?
Hugs across the miles and hope you can get some relief. It is truly needed in order to cope. Take care