Please look into being a full time caregiver completely before making a final decision. While it can be very rewarding, it too can be trying and heartbreaking. I'm not trying to discourage you in the least only encouraging you to make an informed decision. I hope everything works out for you. God bless!
This is more work and involvement that a lone person is able to do. All the love in the world can't keep you going as a 24/7 caretaker. Your mom may live another 20+ years. Can you put your life on hold for that long? Will you be able to take care of her medical issues? If you have a job, there is no way you can just quit and expect the state to chip in. Even if they did... what will you do when your mother ultimately passes and you've been out of the work force for years? I don't know your age, but as an example: Say you're 45 and take care of your mom for 15 years. Unless you have a trust fund or big inheritance, you will have to go back to work at 60. Entering the work force again to support yourself after so long, and at an older age, is not going to go as you might hope. It's not fair, but unfortunately is how it is.
Awhile back I watched a show-- I've forgotten the name, but it was a '60 Minutes' type show-- about middle class poverty. One woman in her 50s decided to quit her nursing career to take care of her mother with cancer. She said she thought she could just jump right back in to a nursing job when the time came, since nurses are always needed. Unfortunately, even with experience and her education, she could barely get hired... new nursing grads in their 20s and 30s were getting the jobs instead. She fell into debt, had her car repossessed, and was facing homelessness. She said she never expected it to be like this, having to pretty much start over in her late 50s.
So many, if not most, of caregivers on here went into it with optimism. Many love their parents dearly. They never expected to be burned out, exhausted, broken, and financially strapped. We all tend to think we can love our way through these things sometimes. Please reconsider doing this.
I would read all that you can on this site. Your mother is young, she could live for another 25+ years, are you ready to tie yourself up for the duration?
As for paying you, as a full time caretaker, no, unless....
Look into Fl state Medicaid, see if she qualifies, then perhaps you can be paid, it will be a mere pittance, and you will not be able to support yourself on it, plus you will be putting a huge gap in your work history.
Please don't make any rash decisions, that you will regret. You have your life to consider, not just hers.
Sirenita, oh my gosh, your Mom is quite young in today's world. May I ask what type of heart condition does she have? What are the doctors doing to help her?
Please note that the vast majority of grown children who are caregivers for their parent(s) do not get paid.... unless that parent can pay you directly from their retirement fund.
If you are currently employed, please remember if you resign you will not receive the salary you are now getting.... plus you would need to buy some type of health insurance for yourself. Gone will be funds going into your Social Security and into your Medicare unless the State Medicaid can pay you a hourly rate for x number of hours.
Depending on your current job [if employed], you won't be getting matching 401(k) from your employer, nor profit sharing, no vacation/sick days off, and company offered life insurance. Not trying to scare you, it is just reality.
If your Mom can qualify for Medicaid [which is different from Medicare], check with your State to see what programs are available such as you being paid, and Aides coming in to help your Mom.
Nobody will pay you to be a full time 24/7 live in caregiver. If she qualifies for Medicaid then she may be able to hire you as her caregiver but it’s at Medicaid hourly wages which are minimum wage and again, it won’t be full time hours. If she or her spouse is a veteran, she might be able to get aid & attendance through the VA. If you will be quitting your job to do this, seriously reconsider it. It will affect your livelihood.
I so agree.This covers the FACTS if the thought is that this would be the best of all worlds for Sironita and Mom. It may seem like it now. Having the support, the caregiving and getting paid to do it. The fact is the pay could never even BEGIN to make up for the costs in any way, and likely not be sustaining in many places. And the care, of a 65 year old, could go on another 25 years. I hope she will reconsider.
I would advise you to read all the threads on here that you can, that relate to being the 24/7 caregiver for a family member first -- they will give you a very realistic look at what this will be like.
For some, it is a great solution, but for many, it is filled with so much difficulty and problems. Do your research, honestly evaluate you and your mother's relationship, and give this great thought before you jump in. If it turns out to be a disaster, getting out is usually a herculean task!
Others will chime in as to whether you can be paid, I don't have any advice there, sorry.
This is more work and involvement that a lone person is able to do. All the love in the world can't keep you going as a 24/7 caretaker. Your mom may live another 20+ years. Can you put your life on hold for that long? Will you be able to take care of her medical issues? If you have a job, there is no way you can just quit and expect the state to chip in. Even if they did... what will you do when your mother ultimately passes and you've been out of the work force for years? I don't know your age, but as an example: Say you're 45 and take care of your mom for 15 years. Unless you have a trust fund or big inheritance, you will have to go back to work at 60. Entering the work force again to support yourself after so long, and at an older age, is not going to go as you might hope. It's not fair, but unfortunately is how it is.
Awhile back I watched a show-- I've forgotten the name, but it was a '60 Minutes' type show-- about middle class poverty. One woman in her 50s decided to quit her nursing career to take care of her mother with cancer. She said she thought she could just jump right back in to a nursing job when the time came, since nurses are always needed. Unfortunately, even with experience and her education, she could barely get hired... new nursing grads in their 20s and 30s were getting the jobs instead. She fell into debt, had her car repossessed, and was facing homelessness. She said she never expected it to be like this, having to pretty much start over in her late 50s.
So many, if not most, of caregivers on here went into it with optimism. Many love their parents dearly. They never expected to be burned out, exhausted, broken, and financially strapped. We all tend to think we can love our way through these things sometimes. Please reconsider doing this.
As for paying you, as a full time caretaker, no, unless....
Look into Fl state Medicaid, see if she qualifies, then perhaps you can be paid, it will be a mere pittance, and you will not be able to support yourself on it, plus you will be putting a huge gap in your work history.
Please don't make any rash decisions, that you will regret. You have your life to consider, not just hers.
Please note that the vast majority of grown children who are caregivers for their parent(s) do not get paid.... unless that parent can pay you directly from their retirement fund.
If you are currently employed, please remember if you resign you will not receive the salary you are now getting.... plus you would need to buy some type of health insurance for yourself. Gone will be funds going into your Social Security and into your Medicare unless the State Medicaid can pay you a hourly rate for x number of hours.
Depending on your current job [if employed], you won't be getting matching 401(k) from your employer, nor profit sharing, no vacation/sick days off, and company offered life insurance. Not trying to scare you, it is just reality.
If your Mom can qualify for Medicaid [which is different from Medicare], check with your State to see what programs are available such as you being paid, and Aides coming in to help your Mom.
Hopefully you will find something that works.
For some, it is a great solution, but for many, it is filled with so much difficulty and problems. Do your research, honestly evaluate you and your mother's relationship, and give this great thought before you jump in. If it turns out to be a disaster, getting out is usually a herculean task!
Others will chime in as to whether you can be paid, I don't have any advice there, sorry.