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Do you keep them in an urn at home, bury them in your backyard, in a cemetery or scatter them?

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My father was a mountaineer. Daddy climbed Mt.Hiood over 50 times and this is where he chose to have his ashes scattered - he pick a specific spot roughly half way the summit. So, on a beautiful August afternoon that’s what my brothers, my nephews, my husband and I did. Four years later we scattered my mothers ashes there as well - as was her wish to join my father.

My husband and I have picked a spot off the Oregon coast - to be scattered into the Pacific Ocean. It’s a stretch of beach where we have spent many a long weekend - just the two of us.
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I agree that personal, cultural and religious beliefs differ so there is no one right answer - I can remember years ago when cremation was less popular where I live that I was flabbergasted that many Americans seemed to keep an urn of ashes on the mantle or coffee table. Today I am equally astonished at the thriving business of mini urns and jewellery available for divvying up the cremains among the family, but to each his own. My church believes in interring in a cemetery, so that's the option I would choose for my loved one.
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Katz17 Nov 2018
So what's the belief as a Christian for "interring" in a cemetery instead of keeping cremains at home?
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I lost my husband of 54 years a few months ago and we just got his ashes back. His brother and I were the only ones who wanted to keep them. Mine are in a pretty necklace and his brothers in a small urn. The rest of the cremains are in a nice wooden box with his name and dates of birth and death on them. For now I will keep them but when I die I may ask that they be both scattered together.
I did not want my mothers ashes so they were scattered in the grounds of the crematorium along with many other. DH's dad wanted cremation but his mother wanted a fancy cakes so when she died FIL's remain were also put in the grave
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My parents had friends I grew up knowing. The husband went before the wife. The wife lived in a duplex , her son and DIL in the other side. When the wife started having health problems, the SIL asked her what she wanted for her funeral. Wife said cremation and then her, her mother and husband could be placed somewhere together. All had been cremated. Mom was buried under the birdbath in the backyard. Husband was in the cellar in the filing cabinet under B for Bill, his name.

Some cemetaries allow urns to be buried with LOs. There maybe a charge for this. If a Vet, can be buried in a Veteran cemetary.
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Cremains are very salty and if buried under a favorite bush or in a garden, will damage the plants. Cremains can be treated to reduce the pH level and dilute the salt and make them appropriate for memorial plantings.
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jacobsonbob Nov 2018
Good point. Another option is to scatter them far enough that the salt isn't so concentrated that plants are affected.

I might tell my family to cremate me, and then save the cremains for a day when there is ice on the sidewalk or driveway!
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My honey and I have been together for 30 years. He is in end stage heart failure and has asked that his remains be cremated if he passes. I will keep his remains here with our beloved dogs. And when I pass I will ask that his and our dogs remains be scattered together as he has loved all of our fur babies. I am a body donor if they are unable to use me as a donor or for research and I am cremated I want my ashes to be scattered where my honeys and our fur babies were as they have been my life and love for 30 years.
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Cremation has become very popular here in Ireland in recent years and I have opted for cremation when my time comes. I had this secret desire to have my ashes scattered over the ocean because that is where I feel blissfully at peace until Our Padre read out a letter from Pope Francis at Sunday Mass stressing that the ashes from the Remains of the Dead must be laid to Rest in Sacred Ground. I agree with CWillie that personal cultural Religious beliefs differ hence there can be no right answer to this Question.
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It's nice that the Pope is worrying about this, but there is absolutely nothing in the Bible to support it. Pity about all those disciples and apostles who missed out, perhaps they can't go to heaven. Interestingly, there is more Bible support for not splitting up the body, so that it gets resurrected in one piece. I'd go for the ocean, I don't want to sit on someone's mantelpiece.
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When my dad, a surveyor, died last year we placed his ashes in a wooden box containing an antique surveyors transit. His sisters and I each placed mementos in the box before it was buried in the cememtary plot.

My dad had requested I scatter his ashes around the small town where he grew up so I had funeral home save some of the ashes in a small container. I then discretely scattered a little bit at places I knew he had fond memories of as well as on the graves of his his parents and grandparents.
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We have paid for our final arrangements and I chose cremation, hubby wants to be buried with his parents. I have made my wishes known to my family. NO GRIEVING! They are to set a day to all get together and have a family meal at a reserved area of a restaurant and remember and discuss the fun times. Then, when the blue bonnets are blooming, They are to go to them, open the tailgate of their truck, pour my ashes on it and take off letting me lie with the flowers I love so much.
That is if my husband is still with me. That's another post.
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Haha. Re; No Grieving. Are you of Irish descent? Take those feelings and shove them down into a box until your heart explodes? (a line from a comedian named John Mulaney)
People have to grieve.

And untreated cremains will kill the flowers. They are very salty.
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Hi Katz I just lost my honey of 30 years. He is being cremated and I will be picking him up in the next couple of weeks. I have like a curio glassed in cabinet that we have the remains of all of our fur babies. I am going to rearrange the cabinet and he will be resting with the 4 legged babies that he loved so much. I truly believe this is where he would want to be. When I pass and the donor/med science is done I will be cremated. At that time we will be buried or scattered together along with our fur babies. This may sound strange but Steve and I had talked about this prior to his passing. please see my post below
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Ahmijoy Nov 2018
Aw, Dusti, I am so sorry your honey passed. I am sending you many hugs and wishes for peace.
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