I worry about Mom and I just want her comfortable; I need some advice.

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I worry about Mom and I just want her comfortable; I need some advice.

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Since my sister Lynnie age 49 died a little over 4 years ago suddenly by a heart attack caused by a undetected Pulmonary embolus, I’ve been dealing with grief raw and painful and taking care of Mom who has declined since my sister died. I just had to put her in Long Term Care which is horrible for me because I miss her at home so much but because of my declining health from Psoratic arthritis and working 12hour shifts as an RN. I couldn’t take care of her properly anymore. I felt like I gave my child up, for adoption. It’s very hard on me, she is barely able to adjust being there and begs me to take her home, and believe me, if I could I would. But I can’t do it physically anymore and work, and if I were to suddenly die or get critically ill she would have no one to care for her. Which was my biggest worry. But thank you all for helping me the past 4 years. I’m still struggling with grief and still in my mind my sister is alive. She was my best friend and we were RNs together at the same hospital...my heart is so broken I am lonely without her. She was my only help. I still have a dad alive and he doesn't live with me (whew ..dodged that bullet). But, he needs lots of care and I buy him groceries and take him to appointments. He’s another story for another day.
I do have one question for you all, my mom sits in the wheelchair all day at the nursing home. Since she’s been admitted they have had a horrible time getting her out of bed in the am. She fights and screams. She’s afraid... it’s all new to her. They now have psych nurses to talk to her and will be monitoring how she is approached getting out of bed in the am. The problem is till then I have asked to please get her a recliner so she can sleep if she wants, but it seems as if my requests are being ignored. How do I approach the subject over again without being demanding or mean? I worry about Mom and I just want her comfortable. I need some advice thank you...and lots of hugs for each of you.

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I had the same issue with my Mom and I feel so bad for you. the first nursing home seemed nice but I later found that they were over medicating her. I immediately moved her when I found this out, they would not stop!!! When we arrived at the new home it was so different. The old home had ordered her a wheel chair and it looked like some sort of torture device, high wooden back, you could tell it just look uncomfortable!!! When we got to the new home I was so shocked, with in a week they brought hospice in and Mom was supplied with wonderful equipment. A wheel chair that looked like a recliner. It was so comfortable, cushioned, very thick. It reclined back for her comfort. It was also very needed because Mom could no longer walk and there back ends start to break down and causes sores, I had no clue that would happen, I'm not sure if its because she was so small or if it just happens. I could not bring Mom home either, she could not walk or control her body functions. I feel so bad, I know she was frightened and it would hurt to see the look in her eyes, I don't think I will ever get that out of my mind. She would ask me to come home and I would tell her that I want to take you home but Mom you have to be able to walk, my house was not wheel chair accessible. I can't imagine what you are going through especially after loosing your sister. All I can do other than try to offer some kind words is to pray for you.

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I worry about Mom and I just want her comfortable; I need some advice.

31 Answers

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