Since my sister Lynnie age 49 died a little over 4 years ago suddenly by a heart attack caused by a undetected Pulmonary embolus, I’ve been dealing with grief raw and painful and taking care of Mom who has declined since my sister died. I just had to put her in Long Term Care which is horrible for me because I miss her at home so much but because of my declining health from Psoratic arthritis and working 12hour shifts as an RN. I couldn’t take care of her properly anymore. I felt like I gave my child up, for adoption. It’s very hard on me, she is barely able to adjust being there and begs me to take her home, and believe me, if I could I would. But I can’t do it physically anymore and work, and if I were to suddenly die or get critically ill she would have no one to care for her. Which was my biggest worry. But thank you all for helping me the past 4 years. I’m still struggling with grief and still in my mind my sister is alive. She was my best friend and we were RNs together at the same heart is so broken I am lonely without her. She was my only help. I still have a dad alive and he doesn't live with me (whew ..dodged that bullet). But, he needs lots of care and I buy him groceries and take him to appointments. He’s another story for another day.
I do have one question for you all, my mom sits in the wheelchair all day at the nursing home. Since she’s been admitted they have had a horrible time getting her out of bed in the am. She fights and screams. She’s afraid... it’s all new to her. They now have psych nurses to talk to her and will be monitoring how she is approached getting out of bed in the am. The problem is till then I have asked to please get her a recliner so she can sleep if she wants, but it seems as if my requests are being ignored. How do I approach the subject over again without being demanding or mean? I worry about Mom and I just want her comfortable. I need some advice thank you...and lots of hugs for each of you.

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Will they allow you to purchase a recliner and have it delivered to her room ?
Helpful Answer (15)

So sorry for your struggles - is mom already on meds for anxiety ?

Mom still doesn't like certain people even her private caregivers so I'm not surprised your mom is having some issues with the Nh staff
Letting folks sit in wheelchairs all day is just awful especially when they lose some muscle and lean forward with their heads on the table or slide out of the chair altogether
I know you can find Geri recliners on line or perhaps a reclining wheelchair with elevated footrests - I just bought my mom one for about $320
Helpful Answer (11)

Are you bringing this up at a care meeting, and not just with the staff you see at the moment?

Are they proposing meds for agitation and anxiety? They helped my mom a lot!

I hope you get your answers, and that your mom can be made comfortable.
Helpful Answer (8)

This was/is a common sight at our local nursing homes and one of the reasons I opted to get my mom a tiltable wheelchair instead of a lift chair for use while she was still at home. My reasoning is that it is practical for the long term, can be modified/upgraded with specialized headrests, lateral supports and pressure relieving cushions, and as a necessary medical device the cost was subsidized.
Helpful Answer (8)

When she returns from the geropsych unit I will buy her a Geri chair for her
Helpful Answer (7)

You can also "take the bull by the horns", do your research, find a recliner or Geri chair (sounds like that would work better), then ask someone on staff who you need to make arrangements with to ensure that a home purchased (or Medicare furnished) chair can be brought into her room.

There might be a liability issue, so I'd be sure staff knows that the chair is being added to her room. We encountered that liability concern when we wanted to bring in our own walker, or was over a decade ago and I don't remember for sure except that the staff balked at our bringing anything assistive device (except a grabber) into Mom's room.
Helpful Answer (6)

My experience with NHs is they don't want her to stay in her room. They want her lined up around the nurses station in her wheelchair so they can watch her from there.
Helpful Answer (5)

There are reclining wheel chairs that would be good.
I/we also had a Geri Chair that was alright but not "the perfect chair". the Bariatric one was the size of a love seat and the regular one was too small.
Then we got a Broda Chair. Reclined, had sort of like wings on the sides to prevent my Husband from listing to one side or the other.
As you can see there are lots of options.
I would not do a regular recliner as that may be difficult to get her out of. The power lift chairs might be good but if she tries to get out of it herself there is a very real risk of falling once the chair reaches the maximum height it is easy to slide off the seat of the chair.

As a side note the reclining wheel chair or the Broda chair make re-positioning much easier all you have to do is change the recline a bit and that helps shift weight throughout the body. The Broda chair also has foot rests that are much more comfortable.
The size of the wheels makes it a bit difficult if you go out for a walk and are on an uneven surface. All 4 wheels are small.
A disadvantage to both the Broda and the Geri chairs is they are heavy and not meant to be easily loaded into a car to go out. But a reclining wheelchair is just as easy to maneuver as a traditional wheel chair.
Helpful Answer (3)

I feel your pain and grief, and I'm sorry for all you're going through. You're a great daughter, and your mom is so blessed to have you! Don't give in to her sadness and drama, but say something like, "your new home is so nice, and the staff seem so lovely. I know you're safe and warm here, so I sleep better at night!" Kind of cheer her along. Please make sure she is not sitting for too long every day,. If she cannot get up and walk, please make sure they are turning her or placing pressure reducing pillows under her to prevent bed sores. Also, make sure her ankles are elevated so she doesn't get those sores on her heels. When you visit, try to check her whole body for red marks, which can be signs of pressure sores starting. If she can walk at all with a walker or cane, she should be encouraged to do this at least several times a day. Good luck with everything, and hang in there. It will get better.
Helpful Answer (3)

Before you place any orders you might want to talk to the people at the nursing home, I'm sure they have an opinion on what would work best for them and your mother.
Helpful Answer (2)

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