Early this year, he became incontinent. He repeats certain actions. When I got him Ensure he would drink as many as he could sneak in a day, then whenever we go past sunglasses, candy in a store he tries to take one. Now he takes his depends off and walks around even when granddaughter is in apt. I watch her while parents work. I have to constantly watch him. He doesn't understand these behaviors are wrong. Dr wants him to exercise so I go to mall or large store, when I stop to look at something he will take off then I need to run around to locate him. But when we are walking together he can barely walk. I need to keep him at home, can not afford to put him in memory care. Any help would be greatly appreciated.
I remember a post a few weeks ago from someone who takes her husband with dementia to a mall or large store. She said he’s wandered off on her twice and at one point a store worker told her she saw him heading for the parking lot. Was that you? I remember posting myself, echoing others that malls and large stores were not safe for her and her husband. If that was you, do you continue to take him to those places? Most cities have exercise facilities with an enclosed indoor track. Do you mean he is physically unable to walk with you or just refuses to?
Take the advice about Medicaid. If we were in your situation, I would already have applied for my bedridden husband. But we live in a house that won’t sell and I have pets I won’t give up. If your husband was in a facility he would most likely get physical therapy. I understand that putting your husband in a facility is not an easy decision. It’s easy for us to suggest it but it’s a heartbreaking decision to make. It’s up to you whether to take our advice or not, but I wish you luck and peace with your decision whatever it is.
Start with the Department of Aging for your state. https://www.hhs.gov/aging/state-resources/index.html
Ask your children to help you research it. You can't be giving your granddaughter the same great "grandma experience" you want to give her if you are constantly chasing him around putting his pants back on!
Don't worry too much about the stage. It doesn't seem like the stage you are in is a great indicator of how much longer you will be caring for him. People on this board state they have late stage loved ones who can't walk, talk, are incontinent, have trouble swallowing and can't feed themselves and they have been like that for years.
https://www.fhca.org/members/qi/clinadmin/global.pdf