I was appointed durable power of attorney and medical power of attorney over my mother by her. Can I stop the people that are coming around taking her to doctors and attorneys? - AgingCare.com

I was appointed durable power of attorney and medical power of attorney over my mother by her. Can I stop the people that are coming around taking her to doctors and attorneys?

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Now she has people that are coming around taking her to doctors and attorneys. Can I stop this?

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If your mother lives alone and you are not on hand to monitor who is coming and going, how do you propose to ensure her safety and wellbeing? Complaining about the ignorant, reckless behaviour of people who do turn up and interact with her and lend her their cars and give her conflicting unsolicited advice when you aren't there is not going to do the trick.

The likelihood is that these people believe they are trying to help your mother. They are offering her company and trips out. They are trying to do as she wants. They are probably blissfully unaware of quite how unreliable her thought process is, or what the risks of the situation are.

But the reason they are doing these things is that you're not; and unfortunately you are currently responsible for your mother's welfare. Better roll your sleeves up and get to work on establishing her mental state.

And, by the way - you have checked that she hasn't been overcharged, have you?
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Reply to Countrymouse
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Is the trust irrevokable? Then she Can't change it. Who is beneficiary? The beneficiary will inherit if irrevocable. Find out what attorneys they are taking her to. Have a doctor write a letter explaining the diagnoses of Dementia. Send it certified registered to the lawyers. Copy of your POA too. Explain because of her diagnoses of Dementia that she can no longer make sound decisions and you r the only person who has legal right to hand her finances. If it is found that they have made any changes to POA, trust or will you mother has, they will be hearing from your lawyer. And if you find they do after this letter, than you have to follow thru getting another lawyer involved. I would send a similar letter to those trying to influence Mom.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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Like HolidayEnd, I'd let the police know that these people haven't been in her life until now and are doing things behind your back. Show them the POA papers.

I'd also consult with any elder law attorney. Your local Senior Center in your town should have a list of them and they work for much less than a regular attorney. Some of them are retired from private practice and are just trying to help out the elderly.

It sounds like these people are "gold diggers" and trying to change your mom's mind.
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Reply to SueC1957
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She had a appointed attorney at one time but once trust was setup and she had me appointed now these people are fighting this. I have not neglected her finically nor any other way. They have her believing that I am going to take everything away from her. That is incorrect I want her to stay in her own home. I have doctors orders where she is not to be driving and these people are letting her drive their vehicles
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Reply to conniesea
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Connie,
If your mother has dementia and lives alone, she may be needing a caregiver.

If you have medical POA, you need to be informed of her treatment and diagnosis.

There is a problem if they are going behind your back and not working with you.
Maybe your mother has asked them to? Do they think you have neglected your mother, denied her medical care, or withheld funds from her?

She has an attorney. Has her attorney been consulted about this?
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Reply to Sendhelp
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You and your mom hardly know these people. I believe I’d call the police and see what they think?
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Reply to HolidayEnd
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The other people are one cousin and a woman that has never been around my mother. Also a cousins exwife whom has not been around her for over 30 plus years
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Reply to conniesea
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Countymouse
I don’t want to control my mother I just want these people to stop. I want her to go shopping out to eat enjoy herself. She needs that interaction with other people due to she lives alone
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Reply to conniesea
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Mountainmoose answer is there is a lot of people in her ear telling her what she needs to do. She changes her mind depending who she has talked to that day. She wants to be in control of all her financial matters and she want pay her bills because she feels they over charged her
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Reply to conniesea
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Connie...

This is just a personal bugbear of mine, but on the other hand attitude is everything when it comes to elder care...

You hold power of attorney not OVER a person, but FOR them. POA gives you the authority to act on the person's behalf, in her best interests. Starting out with the mindset that your mother has given you power over her and you can use it to stop her doing anything you're not happy with... well, it's not a good start. Your job is to act for her and as far as possible carry out her established wishes.

If the trust and your mother's care are now getting caught up in some kind of family power play and it's going to get ugly, then maybe the thing to do would be to go back to the lawyer who drew up the original POAs and get advice.

Who are the other people? What's it all about?
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Reply to Countrymouse
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