I want to start my life, but I don't want to leave my grandmother alone. Any advice? - AgingCare.com

I want to start my life, but I don't want to leave my grandmother alone. Any advice?

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Hi. I don't know if I posted this in the right place but I got a question regarding something that's been bothering me for a while. I live in Venezuela, a third world country in a very difficult situation and I'm going to move out soon in a few months to the US to study, or that's the plan. In my home here I live with my grandmother whom I love very much and my parents however she is bound to us pretty much as she is 89 years old. She is very active for a woman her age and drives and goes to do her stuff with her friends and cooks for us at times and I feel this is what keeps her alive and happy but she is bound to us. Meaning that if we move to another country she has to come with us which means leaving her friends and life behind. I'm really scared this may very literally kill her as she wouldn't have anything to do in the US with us.

She would have no friends here, she doesn't speak English and she wouldn't be able to get a license at her age in the US. It would basically be taking away everything from her. I want to finally start having a life after it being impossible in here at the age of 22 but I also don't want what I mentioned previously to happen. I may kill her by making her move just so I can study there.

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I commend you for being such a devoted young man. I do agree with some of the posts. You have a lifetime ahead of you and should be thinking about your future.
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Eyerishlass is right. I am 55 years old. Even though I love my mother I'm taking care of her and I feel trapped. I had no idea what was involved with caregiving. Sounds like your grandmother would want you to go live your life now. Take care
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Your devotion and concern for your grandmother is very obvious. I would bet that you two have a very special relationship. It's obvious that you love her very much.

You didn't mention whether she is your father or your mother's mom. Regardless, the responsibility of your grandma lies with her son/daughter. I appreciate how concerned you are but you are a young man who needs to start his own life. I know you know this. So do that. Start your own life and let your mom or your dad care for grandma for a while. When it comes time for your parents to make plans to move they can figure out something then. Leaving home to start your own life doesn't mean that you don't care or that you're not concerned. But it's your time to go. Being an adult means making difficult choices at times.
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I suppose I didn't really give enough details. My grandmother is very attached to me and she feels like my mother doesn't care much about her so I feel obliged to be with her so the options are leaving her in Venezuela with my parents or having my parents come here as well with me which wil eventually happen anyways since my parents want to move to the US as well in a year or two. I feel like we'd be tearing her life apart though.
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What do your parents think? They can't assist her while you are away?
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