After dealing with so much stress for over a year now with my father now living in a nursing home with dementia, I am officially burned out and being responsible for him. I never had a relationship with my father growing up and I got thrown into this responsibility not aware he made me medical POA but he has no other family, as my sister lives out of state and is of no help to me. I am now having to deal with getting him Re certified to be on Medicaid again this year and having to scramble to get the documentation provided for them and his nursing home doesn't have a business manager and isn't exactly helping me. I recently just got let go at my bank job because the situation has had me so stressed out I couldn't concentrate on my job and I was making mistakes. How would I go about revoking me as his medical POA and what would happen to him being in the nursing home, would they have to file for legal guardianship? They were going to do that because I don't have durable power of attorney for him but now that his income is coming there monthly they didn't feel a need for it. He was declared mentally incompetent by the doctor there. Also I'm tired of dealing with all his mail coming to my house including collections from his debt and I'm just done with the whole thing. His mobile home was abandoned and his car repossessed and both my sister and me do not have anything that were on as far as bank accounts...he's insolvent now. Any advice?

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Here is another list also from legalzoom - maybe a little simpler.

Step 1
Check the original power of attorney. The power of attorney defines the relationship between yourself (the agent) and the person who granted you the power of attorney (the principal), and can be quite comprehensive. If the original power of attorney provides a process for resigning as agent, follow those steps. Generally, you will be required to submit some form of written notice to the principal.

Step 2
Draft a resignation notice. Many states requires you to inform the principal in writing of your intent to resign as agent. Even if your state does not require written notice, it is a good idea to place your resignation in writing to create evidence that you resigned. When drafting the notice, refer to the original power of attorney by the date it took effect, explicitly state you are resigning and name the last day you will act as an agent.

Step 3
Notarize the resignation notice. Some states require resignations to be notarized. If your state does not require this, you may still want to consider it because a notary provides additional evidence of your resignation and when it was completed.

Step 4
Submit the written notice to the principal, keeping a copy for yourself. If the principal is incapacitated, some states allow you to submit the notice to the person’s conservator or caregiver.

Step 5
Notify all parties you worked with on the principal's behalf -- such as banks and utility companies -- that you are no longer his agent. This is to ensure they do not expect you to take future action on the principal’s behalf. This also helps protects you from future conflicts regarding the principal.

Keep copies of everything
Good luck.
Helpful Answer (1)

Assuming you are in the US, I looked it up and some states do not require the agent (POA) to agree. I don't know which states but, Julie, you may want to check that out. If you are in a state which requires you to agree, then it is not valid.

Not many here will judge you for making this choice. I certainly won't. I strongly considered it myself and I did not have the financial mess you have to deal with.

In any case, to address terminology, he is the one that can revoke POA, but you can opt out of serving as POA at any time.

The general idea is that you put it in writing, sign it, have it notarised and deliver it to all parties concerned - your father, the NH, medicaid and anyone else with you think needs to know.

You might want to see a lawyer to make sure you are covering your butt, so nothing comes back to bite you.. Sometimes the first 1/2 hr is free.

I am so sorry that you lost your job. You need to look after yourself. As your dad is incompetent, I believe the state would have to take over

taken from legalzoom:

Put your resignation in writing. Include your name, name of the principal (your dad) , date shown on the original power of attorney and a resignation statement such as, "I am officially resigning as agent."

Sign the resignation. Get your signature notarized. Although the law may not require it in your state, notarization will help prevent any questions about the authenticity of your signature.

Deliver the resignation to your father if he's mentally competent. You may deliver the resignation personally or send it by certified mail.

Deliver the resignation to your father's caregiver or other person with significant interest in your father's welfare, such as your sibling, if your father is incompetent or incapacitated but doesn't have a guardian or conservator.

Deliver the resignation to the government agency that is caring for or protecting your father if you can't identify a suitable person. Send it by certified mail.

Deliver the resignation to any third parties you used the original power of attorney with. For example, if you used your powers at your father's bank, the bank may have the power of attorney on file.
Hope this helps.
Helpful Answer (3)

I guess in your state I guess its recognized in my state needs to be drawn up by a lawyer with a witness. I was with my Mom when she did hers and noticed a while back that my signature was not on it. Doesn't seem fair that someone can assign people as POA without asking permission. See if there is a Lawyer referral agency that you pay on scale for a consultation. Then ask the lawyer how to legally go about revoking this paperwork since you didn't agree to it. I really think laws have to change in this respect. No one should be assigned POA without signing showing they accept the responsibility. Except for my husband and he for me, I will never take on a POA again.
Helpful Answer (2)

I would love to know the answer to that too? Can someone just make you their POA? My husband's 1/2 sister (supposedly) did this to him through he's never received any ppwk on this, nor signed anything. They aren't close, and she lives in another state. I can just imagine the headache this would bring upon us, should (when!!!, she's 10 years older and an alcoholic) she ever need that sort of assistance, let alone him being her "Executor" of her Will, and him (us) having to travel to her home to dispose of her property and it's content!!! Why ever do people just Assume that you will do this without thorough discussion of such matters?

She just happened to mention this to him, when discussing the fact that my husband was his Dad's POA, and the Executor of his Will, and he recently went through the closing of his estate, and though it was fairly straightforward, and an "all cash" estate, hers definitely would not be so simple! She did not participate in Any way with their Dad and his care, so why would she assume that he would wish to take hers on? He's in his early 60's, and not getting any younger! I told him to set her straight, and get out from underneath this burden before it's too late, but they rarely even talk, What a Mess!
Helpful Answer (1)

Just to reiterate, the document he drew up with something that you could find on the computer ,, he had it notarized at a bank, he never went through an official lawyer but the nursing homes me and the Medicaid too it as a legal document..I stepped up when a year ago called me thinking he was having a stroke, when it was a dementia breakdown.. I visited him every couple months but I never had a close relationship with him
Helpful Answer (1)

Is it "legal" to name a POA WITHOUT the POA's consent?
Helpful Answer (1)

I don't believe that you can be forced to accept any POA. You can decline to serve as POA. Send a letter to that effect to the lawyer that helped your dad draw up the POA documents. Simpy say that you are not willing to serve as POA any longer. Definitely let the NH know what you are doing.

Joann has given you good advice about your dad's financial situation. Good luck, It sounds like a no win situation for you.
Helpful Answer (2)

Your Dad did this without your knowledge? I see no problem in going to the lawyer who issued it and asking him to revoke it. That you don't want the responsibility. The home should have a Social Worker. Explain to her what you plan on doing. Ask how the responsibility of Dad can be taken over by the state. You need to write the creditors. Explain that your father is now in a NH under Medicaid and all his income goes for his care. Also, tell them you no longer want them sending mail to your home. You are not and will not be responsible for his bills. Put a request with the post office that all mail with his name on it be sent to the home. Those coming to you before then or that slip thru write " person not at this address". You are not responsible for Dads bills. If u get calls, tell the collector where Dad is and give him that phone number. Then tell them that they are not to call you again. If they do, they will be reported.
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