Older brother and sister are poas.They won't let me take my mom out,they won't let me go in her room,they won't let me bring her snacks they won't let me come after 5 pm .I also have the nursing home employees harassing me niw????
Often, there are legitimate reasons why a PoA is protecting their LO from a sibling. On this forum, we only get your side of the story.
Try negotiating with them. Tell them you'll agree to visit her with a "chaperone". If you do this often enough and the visits go well, maybe enough trust will develop so that you can visit her alone.
There is no other solution. They hold all the cards. The NH employees aren't "harassing" you -- they are doing what's legal and keeping out someone who the PoA told them to keep out.
In your situation I’d tread lightly, have lots of visits with Mom in common areas of her facility, bring her small elegant entertaining gifts, ask her dietician or care staff if they’ve noticed any items that she might need to make her life more pleasant.
If her entire staff of caregivers is “harassing” you, would it help them to appreciate you more if you brought THEM bowls of small wrapped snack items for their break room, or to leave in the room your mom lives in with a signed Thank You card displayed so that they knew you were acknowledging their hard work and good care?
There may be NO REASONS why this is happening, but there may also be some fairly good reasons, based on your mom’s needs and levels of care. Have you asked your siblings why they’ve made the decisions they’ve made?
If you decide to go the “Is there a reason why….” route, you have to do it in as much of a non-defensive, information seeking approach as you can muster.
Otherwise, is your relationship with her POAs/brother and sisters relatively decent? You may be able to “….catch more flies with honey than with vinegar…”
What is the history here?
Try negotiating with them. Tell them you'll agree to visit her with a "chaperone". If you do this often enough and the visits go well, maybe enough trust will develop so that you can visit her alone.
There is no other solution. They hold all the cards. The NH employees aren't "harassing" you -- they are doing what's legal and keeping out someone who the PoA told them to keep out.
If her entire staff of caregivers is “harassing” you, would it help them to appreciate you more if you brought THEM bowls of small wrapped snack items for their break room, or to leave in the room your mom lives in with a signed Thank You card displayed so that they knew you were acknowledging their hard work and good care?
There may be NO REASONS why this is happening, but there may also be some fairly good reasons, based on your mom’s needs and levels of care. Have you asked your siblings why they’ve made the decisions they’ve made?
If you decide to go the “Is there a reason why….” route, you have to do it in as much of a non-defensive, information seeking approach as you can muster.
Otherwise, is your relationship with her POAs/brother and sisters relatively decent? You may be able to “….catch more flies with honey than with vinegar…”