Mom died 1 week ago. I lived with her. I was her caregiver. I stopped paying my bills and paid hers instead. I wasn't paid. Now I am left with no money, Unpaid bills, etc. She left me her trailer that we lived in. But what do I do now? The funeral is over and everyone's gone home. What things are supposed to be done next. bank acct, credit cards, bills who do I have to let know? And with no money to pay them. And I still haven't cried.

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So sorry for your loss.

Have you been to probate? In NJ you have to wait 10 days. Go whether a Will or not. It will depend on what the estate is worth to how probate will handle it. Trailer may not be worth much depending on how old. Mom has no money, correct. Funeral home should have contacted SS. So that and her Medicare will stop for January. Dec u should be able to keep because its really Nov earnings but I would call to make sure.

Now, its getting your life back. Keep the trailer for now, its probably cheaper than renting an apartment. If you work 2 days can you get that increased? For now, I would hold onto that job and see if I could find another working around the hours if you can't get a fulltime job. Try Temp agencies. Some of these jobs you end up as a full employee.

Then its your debts. If overwhelming, call ur local Office of Aging and ask if they have a credit advisor for free. You maybe able to consolidate the debt into a loan paying off ur creditors. Then having one payment instead of many.

Moms really doesn't matter at this point. There is no money and you are not responsible for them. Probate maybe able to help here.
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If you had POA it dies with our loved one.

I would find out what your state laws are, Google is a wonderful resource and most municipalities have websites with FAQ page so you can start there.

If you have no money, you need to find a job. That is really your 1st priority, you need to eat and have electricity and such to survive.

Grief has it's own time table and it is an individual process. Look up the steps of grief, it will help you understand why you feel things you would never associate with grief.

I believe that the county clerk can direct you in the process of getting her property in your name, probate or what happens if no will.

I am sorry for your loss. I hope you find employment quickly.
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Oh, hon, I am so sorry. Unfortunately, this is a testament to planning ahead. Did you have POA? Are you able to sell her home? For a while after a loved one passes, our feelings and emotions turn to ice.

If your mother had a funeral, sometimes the funeral director can be a lot of help as to what you need to do. You can also ask at her bank what needs to be done, including the credit cards. They will tell you what you are responsible for paying and what you aren’t. If the debts are high, you may want to consider bankruptcy. Your local Area Agency on Aging can also point you toward legal representation at a nominal fee.

sending hugs...
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Crying comes whether we expect it or not.  I cried more after 6 months than I did at first. Finally the reality of death went from my head into my heart.  My whole body knew he wasn't ever coming home.  All of us grieve in our own way, and at our own schedule.  Be gentle with yourself.

It is important to figure out how you are going to survive now.  You have shelter, but will need food, money for electric bill, taxes, transportation, etc. Perhaps someone else here knows where to start with that.

I am sorry for your loss, and the exhaustion I know goes with it after caregiving.
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CaileyB57 Dec 2018
Thank you. Your second paragraph explained what I was asking better than I could. Feeling almost numb at this point. Time! Time will help me !
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