2 years ago after my mom’s hip fracture Brother got raving mad at me cause I set up a meeting with an elder care lawyer with mom (at mom’s request). He told me she didn’t need a lawyer! That he could handle everything with her checking account! He and his wife manage her finances cause he is joint owner on all bank accounts, CD’s, savings bonds and cash in the safety deposit box. So I don’t think he was designated POA at all.
Now mom is acutely ill, in my care in my home and we have to choose assisted living. She’s not willing to check herself in. How do we do this without POA? Worse yet what to do if there’s a medical crisis and she’s incapacitated?
I’m starting to worry that I’m going to have to assume sole care for my mother long term and I’m not in a financial position to do so. And suspicious as to why he is so secretive about this. I don’t even know if Mom has an Advance Directive and I’m the one taking her to hospitals.