I think my uncle is taking advantage of my grandma who just lost her husband and her mind is not what it once was. Any advice?

If no one has your grandmother's POA, can you get her to appoint you? If your great uncle is just "helping out", with no legal paperwork there is nothing he can do or say to prevent it. Since you are living with her, the scenario that makes the most sense is for you to be her POA.

According to your profile, your grandma is 68, which means your father passed away at a young age, and you are still quite young. In your 30s?

I admire your love and compassion for your grandma, but she could live another 30 years. Do you really want to spend your entire adult life caring for your grandma? What does your wife think?

The best thing I think you can do for both your grandma and yourself is to help her get the appropriate healthcare and financial POA documents in place. If your great uncle is the only familial option, but he isn't the best choice to act as your grandma's agent, then I would strongly suggest that rather than taking on that responsibility yourself, you push grandma to assign a neutral third party. Talk to an Elder Care attorney to figure out what the best option would be. There are many resources on this website under "Care Topics."

So you and your wife moved in because your grandmother was struggling on her own, with her bereavement; and APS came out to do a welfare check; and that was four months ago or so, yes?

It might be no bad thing to get in touch with the people who did that check, and invite them to come and do a follow-up assessment. Explain the difficulties you're having and ask their advice.

Sudden changes in a person can be the result of illness such as a uti. How is your grandmother with things such as personal care, washing, changing her clothes and so on? Is she still allowing you to support her diabetes management?

If your grandmother is not in her right mind then she cannot give anyone Power of Attorney.

When did you move in to take care of your grandmother?

You say your grandmother needs someone with her full-time. Is that a job you would be able or willing to take on for long? Do you think that your grandmother will need full-time care from now on?

Your elderly grandmother recently lost her husband of fifty years. When exactly did this happen?

"His brother" - do you mean your great uncle? How old is this person?

Anyway, this person undertook to help your grandmother manage her money, bills, and purchases. It doesn't seem to be working. Records are not being properly kept. Items that should have been bought have not been bought. You are concerned that he either can't manage the job, or is taking advantage of your grandmother? - do you mean that you suspect him of profiting from her situation?

It matters quite a lot how long this has been going on, because if he is very new to the task then it's reasonable for it to take a while to get to grips with it. Is your grandmother able to discuss what she would like done for her?

Are you sure that at one point he was not given Power of Attorney? If he was, he has to have proof that whatever of her funds he has spent was on her. He needs receipts. When he tries to make financial decisions for her, he will need to show proof of his POA to any places he wants to use her funds. If he is writing checks to himself and using her money, this is stealing and he can be prosecuted. But you cant just be suspicious that he is misusing her money. You will need solid proof.

Is this your uncle or great-uncle? Regardless, he can't just "self-appoint" himself to take care of grandma's financials. He might have the best intentions, or maybe not, but it certainly isn't legal.

Your grandma's mind is "not what it once was," but is she still able to make financial and/or medical decisions on her own? If so, I'd suggest you start by talking to her. Ask her who she would like to help manage her finances and medical decisions should she be unable to. Suggest to her that she needs to talk to a lawyer about drafting appropriate POA documents. If she chooses your uncle, then you need to accept that and respect her wishes. However, if you truly suspect, and feel you can prove, that your uncle is either taking advantage of your grandma or is incompetent/unable to faithfully act on her behalf, then you're probably best served by reporting to APS (Adult Protective Services). You can do this anonymously, but do realize that your relationship with your uncle may be forever changed.