Yes, need more info. Just be aware, as your MILs POA, your wife should not be sharing her financial information with you. She is Moms representative and as such should not be giving out that info. Its between her and Mom.
But, that does not mean that you are responsible for Mom financially. If she is 65 or older she is getting Medicare. At 62 she could have started collecting Social Security. So, she should have money coming in monthly. As POA your wife can have Mom paying rent. It should be based on what she brings in and what her expenses are. At least she should be paying her own expenses. For example, any doctor bills she incurs. Prescriptions. Clothing. Special Foods. Anything she personally wants or needs. None of this should be coming out if your pocket.
I did not find where having my Mom live with us increased our utilities or food costs. She had a small $200 pension check she got monthly. I would cash it and anything she needed came out of that. She loved homemade soup. I would go all over getting her soup from local diners. The cost I took out of her $200 because this was over and above what I would normally need to do. Her Depends were the biggest cost.
So, if you feel that Mom is causing a financial burden on you, then yes you have a right to say that she needs to pay something towards her care. But no, your wife can't tell u what Mom brings in.
If by "fair share" you mean her portion of all bills OR do you mean that she is not helping with tasks around the house? You do not indicate medical problems your MIL has. Your wife does not have to discuss her mothers financial status with you and technically she does not have to discuss her medical conditions either. (unless MIL gives permission medical information is protected under HIPAA laws)
It does sound like you and your wife have some discussions that need to happen. Find a time when neither of you are stressed. Start a conversation. Do not be confrontational about it. Discuss what it potentially means for you and your wife's later years if you are unable to save for your retirements if you are concerned that she is using your (this is joint "your" not your personal income) funds to support MIL.
Curious to know how MIL cam to live in your household. Was this something discussed or did your wife just say "mom is moving in". How much care is needed? And do you help out? And how long will MIL be in your house? Is there a move to Memory Care or Skilled Nursing in the possible future? Lot of questions.... In any case you and your wife need to talk. Possibly with the help of a counselor or therapist.
But, that does not mean that you are responsible for Mom financially. If she is 65 or older she is getting Medicare. At 62 she could have started collecting Social Security. So, she should have money coming in monthly. As POA your wife can have Mom paying rent. It should be based on what she brings in and what her expenses are. At least she should be paying her own expenses. For example, any doctor bills she incurs. Prescriptions. Clothing. Special Foods. Anything she personally wants or needs. None of this should be coming out if your pocket.
I did not find where having my Mom live with us increased our utilities or food costs. She had a small $200 pension check she got monthly. I would cash it and anything she needed came out of that. She loved homemade soup. I would go all over getting her soup from local diners. The cost I took out of her $200 because this was over and above what I would normally need to do. Her Depends were the biggest cost.
So, if you feel that Mom is causing a financial burden on you, then yes you have a right to say that she needs to pay something towards her care. But no, your wife can't tell u what Mom brings in.
You do not indicate medical problems your MIL has.
Your wife does not have to discuss her mothers financial status with you and technically she does not have to discuss her medical conditions either. (unless MIL gives permission medical information is protected under HIPAA laws)
It does sound like you and your wife have some discussions that need to happen.
Find a time when neither of you are stressed. Start a conversation. Do not be confrontational about it.
Discuss what it potentially means for you and your wife's later years if you are unable to save for your retirements if you are concerned that she is using your (this is joint "your" not your personal income) funds to support MIL.
Curious to know how MIL cam to live in your household. Was this something discussed or did your wife just say "mom is moving in". How much care is needed? And do you help out? And how long will MIL be in your house? Is there a move to Memory Care or Skilled Nursing in the possible future?
Lot of questions....
In any case you and your wife need to talk. Possibly with the help of a counselor or therapist.
It's unclear what you feel MIL isn't sharing. Do you mean chores or financial information?
Is she not being transparent with your wife?
On what basis did you both agree to have her come to live with you?
Was a caregiver contract set up with a lawyer?
Is she paying rent, utilities and board?
Or does she feel she is "owed" your wife's services?
More information will get you better answers from us.