My grandmother has heart failure and is in a lot of pain from arthritis. My aunt makes all the decisions concerning grandma. Grandma is being cared for in a nursing home. She complained about being in pain so they started her on morphine. After 3 days on morphine she was bedridden and when she is lucid she says help me and drink and mumbled. She also would get agitated and upset because she was trying to tell me something and I just could not understand what she was saying. My aunt would visit from noon to 4pm and grandma slept the entire time. I am with her from 4 to 9 and she would be just like I stated above. On the 5th day of this my aunt stayed a little late and saw how grandma would wake and be agitated. Grandma still said our names and tell us she wanted to get up and help me and drink. After my aunt left I fed grandma and she drank a cup of water. We had a chat which I did most of the talking and she nodded and smiled. I understood her!!! I told her I would take care of her and let my aunt know what she was telling me. I asked grandma if she wanted to to get better. She nodded and smiled. I asked her if she wanted less medication. She nodded and smiled. I told her I would take care of her. She nodded and smiled. She was finally content. For the 1st time in 5 days was she content. She ate and drank more then any other day since she was on the morphine. In the meantime my aunt had called hospice and told her that grandma was much worse which to her that is what it looked like since she had been sleeping all the other days my aunt was here but grandma was actually better then any of the previous days. When I left that night she even said my name and love you. So I cant wait to tell my aunt this the next day. I text her and told her a some of what happened the night before. She said hospice is the one who decides med dosage. I asked to have the hospice lady call me. So the hospice lady called me and I told her everything I wrote above and she said my aunt made the decisions about medication and I said when I tell my aunt I was sure she would understand. This conversation must have been on the speakerphone because my aunt starting yelling at me saying she is not lowering her medication. She is done with this and doesn't want to think about it anymore. Little did I know that she had her medication raised because of the day before and now grandma is never conscious. I went there and had a nurse whom I had never seen before tell me that grandma is dying and can't swallow or eat and drink anything. I told them I fed her and she drank a cup of water the previous night to which I got the reply that she didn't believe that. I would never lie about that. The nurse said that grandma's heart is giving out and there is nothing to be done. When her heart was the issue before she swelled up all over and got fluid in her lungs which she has neither now. She has a fever of 101 which they said is because she is dying yet her cheek by her jawline is completely awoken and red. I am sure it is infected and causing the fever but they won't even treat that and they make her pee in her bed then change the pad once a day. I think that is proof she was drinking but she isn't anymore. How can it be allowed that she is so sedated that she can't eat or drink now. Can I do anything? The nurses and my aunt say that I need to accept she is going to die. I accept that. We are all going to die. She doesn't have a chance now that she is so sedated. Is there anything that can be done or do I just shut up and let her waste away?