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Especially short term memory. The worst issue is the “not wanting to shower “ common problem, so I’ve read here. She often insists on wearing the same clothes for days and the shower battle is ongoing. Sometimes a month or more before i manage to get her to. That, along with incontinence issues makes for a very dirty person. It’s disgusting when she goes to handle food, like rolls in a basket on the table, etc. I’ve been successful in just setting things away from her reach and making a plate for her. Today we were setting up a large outdoor tailgate and there were many foods in various forms of preparation. She was curious naturally so I took her around and said don’t touch anything because of the virus. But like an obstinate toddler she continued to defy that until I had to scold her about it. She told me to shut my mouth, got huffy, and went back up to her suite in my house. I felt horrible even though I know the whole incident will be forgotten due to her lack of memory. But it IS disgusting especially with the covid still around. I don’t know how else to react after my repeating and my patience gone. This was a very small gathering of family but I still want to be cautious and sanitary. It is a buffet set up and I will happily make a plate for her and dad (also with us also dementia). Do I just keep her from visiting and joining in? He gets it. She doesn’t and is sooo stubborn and pouty now. I just can’t take it!

We had a local Christmas party & a neighbour brought his Mother. I went to make her welcome. I asked if she had eaten dinner & gestured to the buffet. She plunged both hands into the first salad lifting up a huge handful & turned to me with a confused look. Oh Dear! I grabbed a plate, let her dump it all on. I quickly slid most off, added a piece of bread & a sausage then immediately binned the rest of that salad!

The next day, my DH says 'apparently Thingo has moved in with his Mother. He thinks she may be getting a bit of Dementia'. You don't say?

We just have to laugh & roll with the punches.

I also vote for a shower Aide. Amazing how they will be talked into it by someone else. Seen it many many times.
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Reply to Beatty
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I had to laugh about the shut your mouth thing. My mother told my niece to shut her mouth a few times. She told her not to do something and she reacted this way. I think they get sick of being told what to do. I try to give my mother choices. My mother gets more upset with my niece/ her grandmother more than me. My niece asked why and my mother said because she is a kid and she is the boss of her. I would be careful taking her around the food. Sit her down at the table and bring her a plate of food. I serve my mother when out for lunch, having tea or visiting family.
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Reply to earlybird
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You can request from an agency someone that will come and help with showers. Often it is easier to get someone else to do this than family.
If you can not get mom to wash her hands often you can use hand sanitizer or there are hand wipes. (not all wipes are good for skin contact so please read the packages)
Do not put extra food on the table if someone wants another serving they can either get it themselves or you can get up and serve more.
If you do have food on the table have utensils for everything. Tongs for rolls, and other firm items.
For a buffet type meal seat her in a place where it will be a bit more difficult for her to get up then serve her.
And remember she is not "stubborn and pouty now, it is that her brain does not process what is going on. And dad might be next. Or he will develop other what I like to call "quirks"
This will not get better, it will not get easier
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Reply to Grandma1954
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