My wife is 53 and is in late middle early onset Alzheimer's disease. I'm her primary care giver and I get little help from family members. Is it normal to feel like this given my circumstances? I bring my wife to work with me at our family coffee shop but it's getting more stressful she has bouts of crying which I'm able to bring her around from. I'm doing everything from bathing and dressing her and I have to feed her. I'm not sleeping all night. Sometimes she stays up all night those days are the hardest.

I feel like I'm losing her every day. I'm finding myself crying a lot. I feel all alone.

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Big Mike,
I think everyone on here knows how you feel. I also took my Mom to work with me at our family's little western store. This went on for 6 1/2 years after my dad died. I just now in August got her in Memory Care. That is not going all peachy keen right now either. I have felt alone and cry too. Sometimes I read so many stories on here that are so much worse than mine that I actually feel bad for whining! Some days are Better than others. Just know you are not alone here! Grace and Peace.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to BootShopGirl

I’m not sure what “late early middle stage dementia” is, but it truthfully doesn’t matter.

Most people who take on the care of a spouse with dementia don’t expect or realize how difficult it becomes. It seems like a noble and loving endeavor at first that earns us the respect and admiration of all around us. For a while. Then reality sets in. Our loved one begins behaving in a way that, if they could see themselves, would mortify them when they were younger and healthy. But we’re the ones who are mortified for them, plus exhausted and depressed. This isn’t how we imagined life would be. And, we get a pretty good case of self-pity going on. I know I did. Still do. My husband is bedridden and I do all but feed him. He doesn’t have dementia but he can be a prize-winning a**h**e.

You need help. If she hasn’t seen her doctor in a while, call and ask if there is help for the crying jags. With the Activites of Daily Living (ADL), do some research on what Medicare will pay for as far as a home health assistant. Leave her at home with the aid when you go to your coffee shop. Things will not get any better until you take some time for yourself. They will only get worse. Having a health aid is not the end of the world or is it an admission of failure. It’s something you have to do for your own self. It’s ok.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to Ahmijoy

Yes, this is normal. We aren't made to caregive 24/7. We all need time to reboot. Can you afford homecare? Maybe an AL? We can't do it all. Jjsee if you qualify for Medicaid homecare. Sometimes Office of Aging can help.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to JoAnn29

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