Follow
Share

My parents added me to their bank account 47 years ago in case of an emergency and as a trust to me. Dad died 12 years ago and I helped my mother taking her to the bank to withdraw the amount of monies she needed for her monthly bills and she would give me her bills and I would pay them and she would reimburse me and stayed with extra cash for groceries, gardener etc. My brother moved with her about 7 years ago because of financial issues and since my parents home has been paid many years ago before dad died it was convenient for him. Last week I see that all the money my mother had in the bank account was transferred to a new account which I have no control of because he told her there were unauthorized withdrawals, for the past year he's been the one to take mom to the bank to do the withdrawals because he lives with her. Should I file an elder abuse form?

Yes he took my mother to the bank and told her she had no other choice but to withdraw the money and open a new account because someone was doing withdrawals from her account ...and about the bank notifying me that this was going on it never happened and they should of because I was not present
....so he accused me as withdrawing the monies. Now she's at a bad spot because I have no access to monitor her money. And I have no choice to report this to elder affairs to clear my name unbelievably true.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to Jensen27
Report

Hmm, interesting...

Is the new account with the same bank, I wonder?

This is why I ask. I noted that you say the bank itself advised you to file a complaint. Out of curiosity, just for background research purposes, I went to my own bank's website and looked up their Help section. Among many other topics was a section on 'protecting yourself from fraud', and in that section was a whole section for 'Carers' with advice about protecting loved ones' finances, and after that was a long, long list of helpful links including some to relevant organisations I had never heard of before.

So, maybe your bank has the same range of services? It could be a useful place to start.

I'm sorry that you're not able to deal with your brother direct, but I do accept and understand that. Bear in mind that if you are hostile and suspicious about him, he may feel exactly the same about you. You are *still* right to do what you can to ensure that your mother is protected, but try not to make too many assumptions about why he is doing what he's doing.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to Countrymouse
Report
JoAnn29 Nov 20, 2018
The problem with joint accts here in the US is that one of the acct holders can clean the other one out. Even though when getting a divorce, assets are suppose to be split 50/50 this doesn't happen with a joint checking acct. One partner can clean the other out.

Her brother must have had Mom with him when he changed over. Hope he informed SS and any pension she has of the new acct. I do think since she was on the acct the bank should have called her. Her money could have been involved.
(1)
Report
Yes, file a complaint.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to Isthisrealyreal
Report

Adult Protective Services. That's who you file Elder Abuse reports with, at least in my jurisdiction.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to BarbBrooklyn
Report
Jensen27 Nov 19, 2018
Thank you.
(0)
Report
Mom has ALZ/Dementia. Can she make informed decisions. I would call APS.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to JoAnn29
Report
Jensen27 Nov 19, 2018
APS?
(0)
Report
See 1 more reply
All the same, have you talked to him about it?
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to Countrymouse
Report
Jensen27 Nov 19, 2018
We are not in speaking terms, somethings don't need to be asked it seems very clear to me what his intentions are. The bank told me to file an elder abuse complaint.
(1)
Report
See 1 more reply
No, you should talk to your brother and ask him to explain. And at the same time, you should explain to him what the procedure was that you were following when you were dealing with the finances.

Looking back over the statements until the transfer, were there any withdrawals you don't recognise?
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to Countrymouse
Report
Jensen27 Nov 19, 2018
He told her it was I who was withdrawing the money and it was better to open a new account .... that way I can't monitor what he does with the money he is the one that did the withdrawal. Maybe I did not explain myself well
(0)
Report
Do you have a Power of Attorney (POA) from your mother? Could be a durable POA for just for financial matters? If your mother is of sound mind and you do not have a POA, I'm guessing that it would be very difficult to prove there is elder abuse. If she is of sound mind, perhaps you can talk to her and show her the records of exactly how you spent her money and how it is being spent now.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to Hedgie
Report
Jensen27 Nov 20, 2018
She had a stroke a couple of years ago and ever since she's not of sound mind. Frail 91 y/o scares easily especially when she has someone living with her that is constantly telling her that he is the only one that wants to keep her living ar home how do you fight that?
It only makes her more and more insecure if I say anything. He probably has a POS.
(0)
Report
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter