She is very emotionally driven. She also has begun doing odd things like eating soup out of a drinking glass, to eating chex mix with a spoon. Her personal areas are not as clean as they used to be (like her bathroom). All she seems to do is watch tv or movies. However, when she's on the phone, you'd think everything was perfect around here . Nobody seems to understand when I try to explain how she really lives and acts on a daily basis.
During phone conversations and doctor's appointments, they can really pull it together and sound totally normal and make excuses/brush off questions about odd behaviors or inconsistencies, etc. My mom, when she can't finish a thought or messes up, just says something like "well, anyways..." and changes the subject when she gets stuck. Most people will not think anything of it. But I notice. Cuz it's new and I KNOW it's a coverup on her part. They are good at trying to make excuses, some seem quite valid, for their off behaviors.
Yes, she is doing odd things with her eating. Guess she's forgotten that a drinking glass is not a "normal" vessel for eating soup from. I guess it kind of works, except if the soup is hot.
So, does she have a diagnosis? Does she live alone? Does she have any help? Does she drive?
Good luck.
When I took charge of my MIL's care I would send out a email "update" to her 2 other sons, one who was local and the other out of state. I did it weekly but then it became almost daily as we worked to figure out care solutions. It was brief and didn't really ask them to do anything in particular, but I wanted to make sure they never said to us "I didn't know ______". Also because I had privy to and was managing her very simple finances I wanted total transparency. I would outline medical appointments, interactions with social services, how it was necessary to rearrange her home, and "new" behaviors. This garnered much more willingness from her sons to volunteer help (although it is best not to "expect" participation if it wasn't agreed upon).
Does your mother have a formal medical diagnosis of dementia? If not, this should happen. Does she have all her legal paperwork to facilitate caregiving in place, like durable PoA, Medical Representative and Living Will? If not, this needs to happen before a medical diagnosis.
If you haven't already discovered Teepa Snow and Diana Waugh on YouTube, you will find it very helpful to learn more about dementia and better ways to interact with our declining LOs. This forum is certainly the right place to find people in the same situation as you and lots and lots of support. May you gain peace in your heart on this journey.