I need to send my mom to the ER and get her admitted for a few days. Any suggestions on how?

This would depend on a few things. Area you live. Doctor. Is she ill? I called in the doctor and was lucky enough to get her admitted. The way things are at the moment (with all the flue) it would need to be an emergency. Good Luck

Just understood all of it - so sorry.  Get them to keep her. You are obviously not able at the moment. It would be SAFER for her to be admitted.

Ambulance came, they took her to ER. Paramedic tells me, They're turning people away, they're not going to admit her. Question is, do I have the right to refuse to take her home?? My impression is yes.... but sometimes hospital social workers can try to bluff and pressure pretty hard against that....

Mom called from ER. She is severely depressed most of the winter but with UTI she is peppy and in fine spirits -- though the constant music she hears and hallucinations of people are a bit annoying .... She hasn't seen doc yet but nurse is telling her they can't keep her.... Asking again, Can I simply tell them I'm not capable of taking her home???

Can you get a hospital social worker on the phone? Not one of the people who do psych evals, but someone who deals with discharge. Or, perhaps, it would be better to ask for a psych eval. They will mostly likely keep her at least overnight, in a hospital bed, and I expect she'd get a one on one aide if she keeps trying to get out of bed. Desperate times call for desperate remedies.

I believe you can. Tell them you are ill yourself and you cannot look after her. Let us know what happens.

I wish you lived nearby; I would help you... Please keep us posted.

Thank you for your support and kindness, it is really helping me... She's called me twice from the ER and wants to come home, they have diagnosed a uti, she is getting more manic by the minute hopefully they'll see she needs to be admitted. I told her that, too, that she should stay there tonight so they can take care of her. I will let you know when the decision is made. Thank you again!

It sounds like she isn't mobile (even if she thinks she is at the moment) and I don't think they are allowed to just release her, they have to have a safe place for her to go with someone to look after her. You are not b;e to do that right now and if they are smart they shouldn't want you anywhere near the hospital if you are contagious and don't need their help. I would think that particularly if you don't go to the hospital and only deal with them on the phone they might find a way to keep her until you can take over again. Good luck, I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. No one else to help at all?

The hospital called and said they're sending her home in an ambulance. I said I can't take care of her and they hung up on me.....

Lock the front door! And turn off the lights.

I tried social workers at hospital they're off duty after 5. I called Alzheimer's Association as they have very helpful hotline for all kinds of dementia including memory loss. They said social worker will call me back within an hour. Supervisor from hospital called and left a msg to call her back -- im going to give Alzheimer's Association at least 20 minutes so I can talk to them first.... Anyone out there have any experience, strength and hope to share ...?

I ❤️you guys!!! .... I'm locking the door, turning off the lights and not answering the phone unless it's the Alz Assoc msw!!! 🕊🕊

Cover the computer or they will see the light.
Good Luck - hope you feel better soon

I feel for you. Please keep us posted! Good luck.

My mom is calling every few minutes and leaving messages - nurse is jumping on to see if I'm there but I'm not... Still waiting for Alz Assoc 🙏🏻🕊💕☃️☃️☃️☃️

If they break the door down, make sure you're lying on the floor and fairly non responsive, lol.

If they bring her back call 911 again as soon as they leave.

I went through too much of this with my daughter. I stopped calling 911 b/c the emergency room wouldn't take her (I'll explain later if anyoen wants to know.) Eventaully I found I could call for the police, and then let them deal with the paramedics, etc. I hope you feel better.

Talked to Alz Assoc finally -- they don't know what laws are for NY state but were very supportive about my choice to have her cared for somewhere else until she is cured of uti, and not manic or wandering... Soc worker also sent me some names of respite places in my general area that take Medicaid so maybe I can try to find her a bed in one of those tomorrow....

It feels uncomfortable to avoid talking to the hospital to try to get my mom settled, and I'm sure it's uncomfortable for my mom also... But I made it clear to EMT and nurse at ER that I would not accept her home; in both cases their response was, "You have to." Well I guess we're at a stand off... This is a very small town; they're not going to leave a 96 year old who can't walk out on the curb. I'm going to sleep now and sleep as long as I possibly can here in the peace and quiet.

Thank you again for all your support and caring! 🕊💕☃️☃️

Hope that you're feeling better today!

The hospital nurse called Adult Protective Services on me and told me my mom was going to spend the night in the emergency room hallway. That's how the conversation ended at 10 pm, 8 hours after my poor manic mom left the house, when I started my wind down for bed. The second supervisor I talked to, though, sounded more sane and rational so maybe they might admit her and withdraw their complaint, I don't know.

The problem is, my mom's UTI is not showing up on their tests and they don't realize/ believe she's not always manic and demented like this so they keep insisting she's well. Hopefully overnight, she's started to hear the annoying music and see the invisible people, as always. And hopefully the hospital will notice! We will see...

Going to sleep and rest as much as I can, as I'm very unwell. Might call Area Council on Aging to see if they can help, and might call some of the respite care places the Alz Assoc found me to see if I can get her in there for a week or two -- I'm praying I don't have to take her home today while she's still manic. THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT! I could not have stood up to the hospital's pressure and bullying without support.

What an awful situation. I don't have anything helpful to offer, just wanted to say I feel for you.

You have my support, also. Please keep us updated!

Thank you for your encouragement and support! Hospital called early to get me to come. I was sleeping so they sent the police to wake me up.

I talked to Area Council on Aging, still trying to find out my rights. They were encouraging and are calling Adult Protective Services for me to see what are my real options and rights. YAAY!

Hospital did not admit mom and she spent the night in the ER.

I left a message with nurse at her PCP to see if I can get antibiotics that way. May not be able to, as he is a new doc for her. Will see.

I don't want to take her home as she is still sick and manic -- I can tell from her phone messages. But hospital thinks she is just very old.... And -- it's easy for me to forget-- I AM STILL SICK.

Left messages with respite care facilities but they didn't call back yet.

Thank you again for your caring and support! The system might be insane at times but at least we have each other! 🕊💕

"Hospital called early to get me to come. I was sleeping so they sent the police to wake me up."

Out of line.

Call out the doctor. He can visit you and hopefully see how unwell you both are. Hugs

This is not how it should be for the elderly and their caretakers. Very sad for both of you.

I found a respite care bed!!! Hospital social worker is very angry with me that I'm asking her to do the paperwork required.... She tried to insist that the fault is all on me and I have to come pick her up. I stood my ground

Good on you :) How hard this has been on you (more than usual because you are also not well) Get well soon. Have a good sleep. Turn off the phone and recover. Hugs again.

Stand your ground - it sounds to me like the police and the social worker at the hospital are out of line - you are sick! We're told "don't come to work if you have the flu" but you are still supposed to care for a demented woman with a UTI when you have the flu? Respite and rest- hang in there. We are cheering for you.