My husband and I moved 15 months ago, from our home in another state, to help take care of our parents. His parents were able to live in their own home. His mother had cancer and developed an aggressive brain cancer on top of the other cancer she had. Three weeks after diagnosis, she passed away. My husband has gone over several times a week for months to throw things out, clean and organize their very full and cluttered house. He has worked hard, coming home exhausted only to return the next day to willingly serve his father. He has never been offered a dime.
My mother is 93, had a concussion 3 years ago has TAI's now and has memory loss as a result. She was not taking care of herself, didn't like where she lived and refused external help. But, she enjoyed her 2 local children coming in every day to make sure she took her meds, bring her food talk with her a few minutes. Because of their own family issues, (spouse with Alzheimer's and grandchildren in need of a stable home), they couldn't continue helping Mom. We moved her into our house to take care of her. The facility where we moved her from wanted to move her out because she was unsafe on her own. She does not want to live here any more than she wanted to live in the apartment. Because we just moved her without asking her if she wanted to move in with us, I didn't ask her to pay us. She gives me a little bit every so often, maybe as much as $100, but nothing like even $500/month like my siblings think I should receive. They really think I should receive more but she only, ONLY has Social Security. We can't get her into an assisted living facility because she has just a bit too much money and can't get on Medicaid. She's not mean, sits in a chair and watches TV till I want to scream and still won't take care of herself (bathe, change clothes, lift a finger to fix herself a sandwich ...). She can hardly toddle across the room, but she packs her clothes at least once a week so she can move, which really stresses me out. I have DPOA for her. I wanted accountability for myself, so 2 of my siblings and I have full access to her bank account. No one has touched Mom's money, but her. I have not been able to force myself to ask her for "rent". My 3 siblings insist I should be paid and are willing to write a monthly check to me for rent and care. Is this acceptable, legal? I don't think I even have big girl socks.