I need to prepare! I know there are many options for her care. I just need guidance on finding what is absolutely best, and ideal, for her.
My mother, about whom I've written before on this forum, is now 93 years old. She lives alone, but I live within 0.1 mile of her house, so I am there virtually EVERY SINGLE DAY. She lives in her own home by choice, and I am happy to accommodate her with any and everything she might need. I prepare her meals nightly, either bringing over items that I've cooked for my husband and myself, or cooking something that I have purchased and prepared specifically for her, according to her appetite. She gets around her house quite well using her cane and her walker, but I KNOW that I need to prepare for the not-too-distant day when she needs more help. We are truly blessed to be in a financial position which will allow her to stay at home, and I know there are many options for her in-home care. I just need guidance on finding what is absolutely best, and ideal, for her. Can anyone provide suggestions? I don't want to wait much longer to make preparations for in-home nursing or some sort of assistance. She is amenable to exploring the possibilities, and knows that I will NEVER.....let me emphasize....EVER, consider a nursing home, unless it is a VERY HIGH END facility with a staff that is professional and caring to the nth degree!! I will vet such a facility 6 ways from Sunday, and ask all the right questions to be certain that it is of the high quality that both my mother and I expect. However, I'd MUCH PREFER an in-home option, no matter how many years we require such care. I'd appreciate input from anyone who has experience with this issue.
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Anyway - you should create a fully accessible bathroom (a wet room is my ideal), you might need to widen doors to accommodate a wheelchair, a ramp or lift to get in and out of the house, enough space in the bedroom to fit items like a bedside commode and possibly a portable or fixed patient transfer lift, a spare bedroom for her live in caregiver. You will also need to consider how she will access doctors if she is completely wheelchair or bed bound - your own accessible van, para transit or perhaps visiting nurses and/or doctors.
Making a home handicap accessible is expensive and labor intensive. It has to be done by accredited professionals. Her home will look like a medical equipment showroom. She will need grab bars, wood floors (for ease of movement), lifts, ramps, and plenty of room for things like a hospital bed, a portable commode or two and plenty of storage space for all the supplies she needs.
She is very lucky to have you to make sure she has the best.
You might consult with an attorney to make sure all the paperwork is in order, Healthcare POA, Durable POA, Healthcare Advance Directive, etc.
I might meet with an agency that provides professional in-home care to see what services you might need, costs, hours, policies, etc., since, it's likely you would need around the clock care, plus, holidays, weekends, etc. I looked into part-time care once and it was extremely expensive, imo, but, if you are prepared for it, then, it might work well for your situation. I would stick with a professional agency though, so, they handle taxes and insurance. It saves you a lot of paperwork and liability.
If you do look into upscale long term care facilities, I'd do more than look at the nice building, fancy dining rooms, art work, etc. I'd check their rating with the state to see how they really do on state compliance checks. Most states have a rating system and list violations and corrections. I discovered that the most upscale and expensive facility that I toured, was the worst rated. If you just listen to their sales team and look at the impressive building and amenities, you might be disappointed.