Why does she need to go to an AL immediately? Are you the caregiver and cannot do it anymore, which is OK? Has she declined so much that the Dr. said she needs 24/7 care and can no longer be alone?
If she is 98 then you are probably in your 70s. I know at72, I do not have the energy it takes to care for anyone. And then if you have health problems of your own...
This link will take you to Tarrant Co Area Agency on Aging. You can contact them for a case worker to give your mom a needs assessment.
She is no doubt determined to die right where she is and would rather do that tomorrow than spend one night in an assisted living. She has every right to do that. You also have rights for what you choose to do. Just not over her.
You can lie to her. Say it’s you. Say it’s her. Doesn’t matter. If it’s in her best interest and doesn’t harm others then it’s the right thing to do.
You can go the legal route. Guardianship in the courts. That’s not quick. Power of attorney if someone has that already. (If she has memory issues then it may be too late for her to sign a POA.)
There’s less ethical routes. Sit back and do nothing until she harms herself or puts herself in harms way. Then call Adult Protective Services. Or let her bills go unpaid.
Remember, we all have the right to make our own choices even if those choices are bad… which is the legal mantra everyone will tell you. Keep trying to overcome it.
A little more background might be helpful, lije why you need to move mom.
Often, us "kids"--seniors ourselves--have our own health and finances to look after and get burnt out trying to prop up a parents who thinks they are independent.
You can't force mom to move unless you are her guardian.
You CAN make it sound attractive, give her a choice of two or more places, take her for a 2 week trial run, get her doctor to talk to her. In all lijelihood, she's just scared of change.
If there is no dementia going on, you can say "Mom, I can't do this anymore" and if that doesn't elicit cooperation, step away and wait for the next fall or illness that puts her in the hospital.
You can't is the short answer. If your Mother is competent she is in charge of her own decisions. If she is incompetent she either has or does not have someone with POA to make decisions and handle her affairs; if one is not already appointed by her when she was mentally capable it is too late to do so now. If your mother is incompetent and has made no advance directives and DPOA then you can apply to be her conservator and can place her. This would involve going to an elder law attorney. Often if a Social Worker is involved in care of your mother they can expedite a temporary guardianship by a call to the Judge; much of this depend upon the state you are in. More information would help us give you a more directed response; sure do wish you the best of luck. You might consult with those in "the right place" to ask for their direction as you begin to attempt to help your Mom.
If she is 98 then you are probably in your 70s. I know at72, I do not have the energy it takes to care for anyone. And then if you have health problems of your own...
This link will take you to Tarrant Co Area Agency on Aging.
You can contact them for a case worker to give your mom a needs assessment.
She is no doubt determined to die right where she is and would rather do that tomorrow than spend one night in an assisted living. She has every right to do that. You also have rights for what you choose to do. Just not over her.
You can lie to her. Say it’s you. Say it’s her. Doesn’t matter. If it’s in her best interest and doesn’t harm others then it’s the right thing to do.
You can go the legal route. Guardianship in the courts. That’s not quick. Power of attorney if someone has that already. (If she has memory issues then it may be too late for her to sign a POA.)
There’s less ethical routes. Sit back and do nothing until she harms herself or puts herself in harms way. Then call Adult Protective Services. Or let her bills go unpaid.
Remember, we all have the right to make our own choices even if those choices are bad… which is the legal mantra everyone will tell you. Keep trying to overcome it.
A little more background might be helpful, lije why you need to move mom.
Often, us "kids"--seniors ourselves--have our own health and finances to look after and get burnt out trying to prop up a parents who thinks they are independent.
You can't force mom to move unless you are her guardian.
You CAN make it sound attractive, give her a choice of two or more places, take her for a 2 week trial run, get her doctor to talk to her. In all lijelihood, she's just scared of change.
If there is no dementia going on, you can say "Mom, I can't do this anymore" and if that doesn't elicit cooperation, step away and wait for the next fall or illness that puts her in the hospital.
More information would help us give you a more directed response; sure do wish you the best of luck. You might consult with those in "the right place" to ask for their direction as you begin to attempt to help your Mom.