I need to have a knee replacement soon. My husband has dementia and is unable to take care of himself much less me. Any suggestions?

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My hubby is bedridden and I, too, need surgery (hip and shoulder). A previous poster said to check with the Social Worker at the hospital and explain the situation. The poster said they may be able to work out a Respite Care for your loved one while you recuperate. I wonder if the surgeon could write out a script for it and it might be covered.
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I had both knees replaced ten months ago. My FIL with dementia was living with us at the time. I agree that you will need respite care for your husband unless you have a relative who can stay with him for at least two weeks and maybe longer, depending on your husband's needs.

You won't necessarily need to have someone home to take care of you, though it helps to have support from family or friends. For example, if you can bathe, have a kitchen, and can do laundry on the same floor as you are recuperating, you have a better set-up than someone dealing with different floors. Even so, you may be surprised at how self-sufficient you can be. You will be able to do stairs, but will want to limit your trips up and down at first. You will be able to care for yourself with simple or pre-made meals. You will be able to wash a few dishes or load and unload a dishwater. Having a toilet riser with rails at home makes for an easier time in the bathroom. It's best for your healing if you have lots of rest and stay off your feet.

If your insurance covers it, and your surgeon order it, look into having a home nurse stop by, or home physical therapy.

At three weeks post-surgery, with two new knees, I was able to look after my FIL all day, but his needs were simple: make meals, wipe down toilet after his bathroom visits, give him his meds. He bathed pretty much by himself and changed his own clothes. But I had my husband at hand to do laundry and grocery shopping. You will definitely need to stock up on food, or have someone do your shopping for a few weeks, at the very least, until you can drive. Or have food delivered. Many people recovering from total knee replacement do this.

If you cannot find a relative who can stay with you for a couple of weeks, or a respite care facility, consider hiring a caregiver to come in and take care of both of you. Your needs will be few and easy, and you will have the peace of mind of knowing your husband is also being well cared for.
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Are you able to arrange 'respite care' at a local memory care facility or assisted living facility or a skilled nursing facility? Many facilities do these temporary care situations. You will have to call around.
Since no one will be at home with you, ask your doctor to send you to in patient rehab.  
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