My mom is 94 years old and very cantankerous. She swears like a sailor if upset, and that is often. My sister (who lives out of state) is convinced my mom has dementia and needs to be in a facility for such problems. My husband and I are not so convinced. We feel that mom has an extremely bad attitude about life. My sister thinks we need to start looking for someplace for mom to live. My mom will not move willingly. So that is out. She owns her own mobile home, which will have to be sold. She has social security from my dad’s account and a pension from my stepdad’s employment. The sale of the house proceeds are in a bank account in both our names, as is her checking account.
The only thing you can do is call APS and get her on their radar as a vulnerable adult -- IF she is failing her ADLs in her home, endangering herself or having a profound health/medical problem that she clearly can't manage by herself anymore.
Why do you need to find a place for mom?
If mom is competent she can not be "forced" to move.
You could however stop any help that you are giving her in order for her to continue to live alone.
Once your help stops then it would be a matter if she is safe to continue to live on her own. That would be a call to APS and report her as a vulnerable senior. If at any time she needs to be take to the hospital you can tell them that she is not safe at home, there is no one that is able to help her or care for her.
Is someone POA for health and or finances?
I would be careful of the joint account. All her funds are to be used solely for her care and every time anything is taken out of the account it needs to be documented.
A used mobile home is not worth much at all.
You might want to consult an Elder Care Attorney to make sure that there will be no problems later on.
Why is your sister convinced she has dementia? Nothing you have mentioned would indicate it to me just from what you have written. Just having a bad attitude is not an indication of dementia.
And getting back to your question..
Why do you need to find a place for your mom?
I am quite worried about how Mom's funds are being held in your and her name as unless that account is dedicated to HER costs, and has a good financial record of every penny in and every one out, you could be accused of some financial abuse; I would see an elder law attorney.