I wholeheartedly agree. I only had medPOA for mom so I could do all of the doctor’s appointments.
My mom didn’t think it was necessary for me to have complete POA even though I was doing everything for her.
It was perplexing to me that she made my brothers feel important because they were guys. I was the ‘daughter’ who was supposed to be the caregiver who didn’t question her or my brothers. Her plan backfired on her when I got fed up with all of them.
You are right. If the caregiver is doing all of the work they should get complete POA.
I’m actually confused how they CAN do it .. U have to make life choices
I’m DPOA for my mom , 3 years now , helped w my dad who died at home
my moms different , she’s ALZ .
my dad was retired military , VA PAID EVERYTHING
MY MOM , gets his military TRI Care for life but benefits are different for the widow
THEY PAY INSURANCE,., not Homecare or nursing homes
we are now over 3 years in , spending ever dime my mom had before Medicare will pay ...
u have to spend all assets first
MY MOM AND DAD PREPARED
I thank god and my mom and dad saved..that my mom is so taken care of ...
I love my mom , can’t see her and hold her hand , since 3/20 , due to COVID , she’s in nursing care. hospice said we can SEE HER END OF LIFE .. , they will let us know .
My mom has six kids , she’s a retired military wife of a RETIRED ARMY VETERAN, but we can’t see her ..
BECAUSE SHE HAD MONEY ..
she pays 10,650 a month
BUT WE CANT SEE HER , she MIGHT CATCH COVID .., lol
Well her 6 kids at this point think REALLY !
She has less then 6 months to live
we get notified at last 2 weeks .
So we can see her ..
thats AMERICA NOW
I PRAY EVERYDAY
yep I know the law on EVERYTHING RELATING TO FINANCIALS AND LEGAL FORMS .. ARMY BRAT
Just purely an opinion from this old California gal. I had POA for financial and Trustee of Trust drawn up with my brother and I and his attorney present. When I took these papers here and there and everywhere in the next year I was assured over and over again that it was important exactly WHAT and HOW the POA was written, mine has sections a-e written out including specifics about how it doesn't lapse if the mentality of my bro DID and etc. When I asked about certain accounts and CDs I was told by banker "depends on how it is written in your POA". Nothing in my POA was questioned and at one point the lawyer drawing it up and examining my bro asked if he was certain of what he wanted, as this POA and Trustee of Trust gave me "the right to sell the gold out of your teeth, Dee.". So for myself alone, I would spend the money and get the DPOA done by a lawyer. And Cali is correct, in California filing is not necessary and is very rarely done.
Worried’s, source of legal information is sometimes her policeman husband, something lawyers joke about. However she may be right about the rules for drawing up and filing a POA in her state – it is indeed the sort of thing where the rules can vary from state to state. That includes whether you can demand to see a copy. Gina seems to be relying on her own local experience, and the same comments apply. Where I am, there are indeed stationer's forms, and the completed POA doesn't have to be filed anywhere. However the document has to be produced whenever it is relied on, and copies are usually taken then.
My suggestion for OP would be to go to a lawyer and get a ‘frightener’ letter sent to SIL. It should request a copy of the POA, and probably indicate that proceedings for fraud will be taken if proof is not provided. This is a cheap one-off thing that often works and is very good value for money.
Every time u enter a hospital w the patient named on DPOA .. they are required to make a copy of it and DNR . U must keep in glove compartment because it’s needed each time .. I do .
my mom has Alz and is hospice .
I have no issues because we prepared AFTER my dad died .
unfortunately she was diagnosed years later and we had all papers in order ..
The OP is in California and in this state, you do not file a copy with the court and you do not need an attorney to prepare a durable power of attorney.
So you can further your education: https://www.legalzoom.com/articles/power-of-attorney-requirements-in-california
Alva, I hope Misty is reading and absorbing all the advice, including the conflicting portions. But who knows? The question itself warrants explanation, and I suspect there's an interesting backstory.
I hope that MistyMiller isn't like so many posting of late, where we ask questions and the person never returns. After looking below at all the answers I can see that without knowing A)if Mom is competent and B) what is Sister's story, is she claiming to have POA, is POA needed now and OP doesn't know if she should have it done? Is Mom competent to do POA and is the POA for health or for financial? What does OP mean by REAL POA? And which kind? Just can't tell where to go with so many questions posted yesterday that are posted on subject line and without anyplace else with information. Hope this OP comes back.
Well, I suppose I'll state the obvious here and say ask your sister-in-law to produce this document and show it to you. Let me ask a question though. When your mom gets admitted into the hospital, who calls to let you know she's there? If it's the hospital calling then you are recognized as her next of kin. If you ask them if they have a POA on file, they will tell you. You and your siblings unless she has a living spouse are her next of kin. Unless your SIL has been appointed as her conservator. I'd bet my money that she hasn't been because if she was she'd be saying so and boasting to you about it. POA's have to be done in a lawyer's office and they are legal documents. This is not something your mom could have written on a sheet of paper with your SIL's name on it. My guess would be that your SIL is lying. Talk to your brother if you can. There's definitely something fishy going on here and it's your SIL.
Power of attorneys DO NOT have to be done in a lawyers office!! You can draw one up yourself or print a standard form online. It just needs to be witnessed and notorized.
Does your mother have dementia? Are you able to ask her? Have you asked your brother. Have you asked his wife. Why do you wish to know the answer to this at this time?
Tell her you won't believe it until you see it. If she refuses or fails to produce a conformed copy, tell her if she can't prove her claims, you won't believe her.
To have it Mom would have had to see a lawyer and assigned her. Since POAs don't have to be filed by County Clerk, you just need to ask to see the paperwork. If dated when Mom was diagnosed with Dementia, its not legal. She has to be competent to assign a POA. Why would your SIL have it and not ur brother.
I wholeheartedly agree. I only had medPOA for mom so I could do all of the doctor’s appointments.
My mom didn’t think it was necessary for me to have complete POA even though I was doing everything for her.
It was perplexing to me that she made my brothers feel important because they were guys. I was the ‘daughter’ who was supposed to be the caregiver who didn’t question her or my brothers. Her plan backfired on her when I got fed up with all of them.
You are right. If the caregiver is doing all of the work they should get complete POA.
Additionally, note that the SIL is the one doing the caregiving.
One should NEVER take on caregiving without having POA.
I’m DPOA for my mom , 3 years now , helped w my dad who died at home
my moms different , she’s ALZ .
my dad was retired military , VA PAID EVERYTHING
MY MOM , gets his military TRI Care for life but benefits are different for the widow
THEY PAY INSURANCE,., not Homecare or nursing homes
we are now over 3 years in , spending ever dime my mom had before Medicare will pay ...
u have to spend all assets first
MY MOM AND DAD PREPARED
I thank god and my mom and dad saved..that my mom is so taken care of ...
I love my mom , can’t see her and hold her hand , since 3/20 , due to COVID , she’s in nursing care. hospice said we can SEE HER END OF LIFE .. , they will let us know .
My mom has six kids , she’s a retired military wife of a RETIRED ARMY VETERAN, but we can’t see her ..
BECAUSE SHE HAD MONEY ..
she pays 10,650 a month
BUT WE CANT SEE HER , she MIGHT CATCH COVID .., lol
Well her 6 kids at this point think REALLY !
She has less then 6 months to live
we get notified at last 2 weeks .
So we can see her ..
thats AMERICA NOW
I PRAY EVERYDAY
yep I know the law on EVERYTHING RELATING TO FINANCIALS AND LEGAL FORMS .. ARMY BRAT
u take an oath
My suggestion for OP would be to go to a lawyer and get a ‘frightener’ letter sent to SIL. It should request a copy of the POA, and probably indicate that proceedings for fraud will be taken if proof is not provided. This is a cheap one-off thing that often works and is very good value for money.
to protect a person
u cant just create one after they have ALZ !!! Lol w a witness and notary .. NAH
ID CHALLENGE THAT
LEARN LAW
we paid 200 for will and DPOA done legally .
please do this . don’t use a fly by night website .
I never worry or am questioned about my moms legal documents 👍
Use an attorney .. DPOA gives u more authority 👍
Shes a caregiver not an attorney
my mom has Alz and is hospice .
I have no issues because we prepared AFTER my dad died .
unfortunately she was diagnosed years later and we had all papers in order ..
Hope this helps
best thing u can do for a family member after death of their spouse
DPOA , and a will thru a ATTORNEY
OR EVEN BEFORE AS A COUPLE
IVE HAD ONE SINCE 51 years old
DPOA .. covers medical , financial and living will ( not needed ) ..
Also get DNR
NOW your covered . attorney keeps copy , u have a copy , and u can file DPOA W COURT .. now No family issues 👍
So you can further your education: https://www.legalzoom.com/articles/power-of-attorney-requirements-in-california
Just can't tell where to go with so many questions posted yesterday that are posted on subject line and without anyplace else with information. Hope this OP comes back.
Have you asked your brother.
Have you asked his wife.
Why do you wish to know the answer to this at this time?
ASK !!!!
And where is your brother in all of this?
Are you eager to take over the care of your mom who, according to your profile, has Alzheimers?