I need time for me, Mom won't cooperate. Any advice?

I am at this point in my life where my mother needs 24 hour care, I work full time and have my aunt but she has her own family. In the next couple of months I will be putting her in a good ALF where they can watch her 24/7.

It's getting worse by the day, I may seem a bit harsh, but I need to live my life.

She isn't EVER going to cooperate. Get the POA over her and start looking for outside care. This is a situation that will leave you exhausted and very bitter. Do what you need to do, in spite or fits, threats, tears, etc., to take back control of your life. Good Luck and God Bless You!

Wow... First off i want to tell you..YOU ARE
DOING A GREAT JOB!! that is a whole heck
Of alot of caring and your sister should be ashamed!! My father is main care giver but
I help him tremendously with my mother and
I know with all his hard work he needs to hear
That occasionally. You too deserve what you
Need and a couple of weeks is not alot to ask!
Do what needs to be done to make it happen
Good luck and God Bless YOU!!

Dillie ... that's not entirely true. I am the live-in caregiver for my Edna (not related), and all I need is a written authorization from the POA that all the medicals can discuss any and all things with me. Doctors routinely make changes to medications and treatments, without ever contacting the POA ... within limits. If they want to recommend an invasive procedure or make life altering major decisions, they call the POA daughter (but, dang .. that really *could* be anyone on the other end of the phone call, right?).

I'm with the others: make your arrangements, advise your sibling that this is when you'll be leaving, and do. not. let. her. make. you. feel. guilty. Just go. You can deal with the aftermath (if there is any) when you get back.

I was in the same situation for nine years.

my entire spine is permanently damaged ALL BECAUSE MY MUM WAS TOO SELFISH TO ACCEPT ANY HELP FROM ANYONE BUT ME .

things happened to force the issue that mum go into permanent care, but point is, her selfishness has cost me my health, my mobility and shaved years off my life. I am only 49, but people say I look 70.

thanks to my mums selfishness, I have probably had 30 years taken off my life.

and the worst part is, I cried our for help, but all the agencies refused to help me just because mum wanted help from no one but me.

I will never forgive my mother for the way she deliberately shortened my life just so she could have longer at home

all these do gooders who say let the oldies stay at home and force the children to look after them forget that children too have their right to have their life and not to have their life destroyed.

all if you who are forced to be your parents sole carer, start doing drastic things to get out of it, ie, scream at the top of your lungs until the neighbors call the police - I guarantee that will get you attention and help. Call the ambulance and when the ambulance arrives, run off somewhere, but I think your best bet would be to scream and scream at the top of your lungs until the neighbors call the police. When the police arrive, burst into hysterical sobbing that you can't cope with caring for your parents - even threat on suicide - that will get you out of having to continue caring for your parents. I wish I had the guts to do that and I would never have dine permanent damage to my spine.

You can try. What will they do if you're just not there? Send the bill to sis too since she's POA.