I need someone to help me get some clarity, or maybe just kick me in the butt and tell me you need to go do this, or maybe I’m wrong I don’t know!?!???

A few years ago my mother took on this woman to help her clean her house. I for one was reluctant in saying oh that’s great because I looked her up on Facebook and although you shouldn’t judge clearly my instincts were right. Over the past few years that she’s been around this girl has not clean their house but has slowly try to clean them out of their bank account. I discovered this information, knowing that that’s what she is done, back about six months ago. My mom called me and told me that there was money missing in their bank account.

Now some more backstory on that situation well scratch that I guess I mean backstory into when that woman first came around. After my mom hired her mother and I started having a lot more of a difficult relationship a lot more fighting, my mom and I always not always but we did butt heads before that. But when she hired this girl it got a lot worse. And my mother‘s speech started to get slurred she started acting sleepy and weird a lot and my mother does take pain pills for him some of her health problems. And I would ask her are you taking more pain pills or somethings not right with you. And because we would fight about that all the time we would sometimes go weeks and not speak and then we would talk again and then everything would be fine after we were catching up on what’s been going on. Of course my mother never has anything going on because her and my father just sit at home day after day after day. I feel like if they’re in a deep depression and have been for quite some time.

But of course they’re very proud and always told me to mind my own business so I did. Now fast forward to what happened six months ago or so six or so months ago, my mother telling me that money was missing in their account so I immediately go home. But when I get there my mother doesn’t really want to talk about it says oh it’s not really a big deal we’re just not gonna hire her anymore to come over but their house was awful. I mean it look like a hoarders dream come true and it was filthy. I tried to clean it up but literally it took me four days to clean the kitchen alone. I didn’t know it was gonna be as bad as it turned out to be. Now my parents are older my mom is 68 my dad is 78. I know that that’s crazy to trust somebody who clearly is living a poor lifestyle and not taking care of themselves and clearly there something more wrong but I just didn’t say anything because I didn’t know. And my father has had addiction problems his whole life alcohol mainly and some pain medication and now of course since he needs pain medication he cannot justify it. But I also think that my dad has early dementia something that my mother does not want to admit to and now she doesn’t have to because she is so strong out on pain pills that she can just forget about everything.

Sorry if it seems like I’m all over the place but I try to be a lot more clear and straightforward. I left my parents house after going there a couple times in the early winter time this year and will come back home I live two hours away, and I would sit and think about something is up somethings not right so I went back home and I demanded my mother give me their bank statements for the past three years. What I discovered was shocking to say the least. This girl has been using their bank information in order to pay her own bills, pay Her credit card bills, and anything else that she can pay with only using a routing number and account number on the phone or online. All in all I have discovered just from their bank account alone that she’s taking about $126,000 over the past 3 years. And I discovered that my mother has known about it the entire time but I’ve also discovered is that the reason why my mother said nothing is because this woman is now her pain pill drug dealer to help get her extra pills every month. Normally my father would be through the roof crazy knowing this information but he can’t be because he can’t remember what’s going on from 1 second to the next.

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I don't care what your mom told you to do,, call the cops, notify the bank, and try like heck to get POA!! Can your father hold it together enough to sing a POA? Call APS, call anyone! I would not be worried about my elderly mom being implicated in something illegal at this point, I'd want to get her help and save her money. Tell this girl you are calling the police to investigate some issues with your mom's accounts.. and her care. Can you change the banking info online so she can't get into it?
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to pamzimmrrt

I just reread my post and I am so sorry, you guys.... I see I massacred the English language lol. I was using my voice to text app.

To clarify on the guardianship it should have read "I would need to file for guardianship..." And the part immediately after was me referring to them not have any poa, living will /advanced directive etc. to tell what their wishes are /who to relinquish control to for medical and or financial decisions. I am very fearful this person may try to get guardianship over parents or at least my mom. I put nothing past her. I could go on and on with the manipulation she has pulled on my mother. She walked in to a perfect situation for herself and took full advantage.

As for my mother's involvement in the drug/pill thing, she is only a buyer from this girl. Trust me, she has two bad hips and knees and cataracts. She spends all day in her mumu and is "lights out" in the recliner 20 hours a day, 7 days a week. She isn't involved in anything deeper than purchasing. And the cops have zero interest in a 69 yr old arthritic, diabetic, mumu wearing mother.

It just sickens me at the money that has been blown thanks to this parasite and her taken advantage of my mother and her depression, loneliness etc. My parents worked so hard for their education and then for their careers. I didn't think it would come to this.

Addiction has zero prejudice. Doesn't matter if you have wealth, education or social status. And it takes the families with it.
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Reply to Whattodo2018

I would get a consult with another Elder Law attorney. I don't understand why the one you describe said that about getting Guardianship. Guardians are for living people and have nothing to do with a Last Will and Testament, which kicks in after death.
The situation is very sensitive, as your mother could be implicated in something illegal regarding drugs. It's very touchy, so, I'd find a law firm that has Elder Law, Family Law and Criminal defense attorneys in the firm, as you may need expertise in all these areas. I'd seek legal advice as to all the options.
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Reply to Sunnygirl1

It might be a good idea to cut your losses on “this girl” and address the elephant that is sitting in the corner which is your mother’s addiction. The federal government has made it very difficult to get pain pills and it has driven the street price up humongously. It may be that the money has gone to paying for her addiction.
If possible you should get rid of your mother’s partner in crime and take the heat you’re going to get to make your mother “well.” If she manages to drive you away she could become even more of a victim than she has already.
If at all possible it would be good to get her medical help to conquer her addiction. Those pain pills are extremely hard to get off and they are getting extremely hard and expensive to find. The mental effects of withdrawals are ten times as bad as the physical effects. She will be in severe pain all over her body and won’t be remotely civil going through it.
Theres a reason for the cutbacks in prescriptions. It is indeed an epidemic. A lot of folks go to stronger drugs like heroin that are cheaper and easier to find. She needs help.
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Reply to CharK60

I need to continue on from my original post. I told my mother when I discovered that my father clearly couldn’t do anything about the situation I told my mother that we have to do something about the situation and you have to let me help you otherwise I don’t know what’s going to happen to you guys if this girl keeps doing this but you’re obviously going to let her have to let me help you charge this girl with a crime because she’s committed a crime and we got to get you some help so you all can live a good life this is not anyway to live. My mother told me to mind my own business and that she’ll figure it out and fix it and that she basically made me leave and told me to not come back and less I’m going to do what she tells what she says is what she wants to do. So now it’s been a few months I’ve talk to an elder care attorney they have told me that I wouldn’t need to file for guardianship because my parents don’t have a wheel or anythin my mother told me to mind my own business and that she’ll figure it out and fix it and that she basically made me leave and told me to not come back and less I’m going to do what she tells what she says what she wants to do. So now it’s been a few months I’ve talk to an elder care attorney they have told me that I wouldn’t need to file for guardianship because my parents don’t have a wI’ll or anything. So I guess my question is is that what I need to do because the only way that we’re gonna be able to prosecute this girl granted all never get their money back but this girl can’t get away with this and the only way they’re going to ever have any sort of a life with the rest of the money that they have is for me to help them because they’re clearly not going to help themselves and I don’t want to see them crash and burn but I also don’t want my mother to not speak to me anymore. Do I need to just go ahead and file it and do what I need to do I do right??
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Reply to Whattodo2018

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